Digging Deep{2}

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
― Anaïs Nin

     Seeing life through our own eyes is invigorating but it can also be misleading.  Our perceptions of other people are based on what we have going on in our lives at any given moment.  If we are in a bad mood we will project our feelings on others and the annoyance sets in.  If we are in a great mood, we might walk around complimenting everyone.

     Projecting our feelings on others is easy to do.  But we must be careful in our exchanges for fear (and it is likely) that we find ourselves in transference.  Have you ever been in an argument with someone and then all of a sudden stopped to really listen and thought “what in the world are we talking about?  This has nothing to do with what started this conversation.  How off track can we get?!”  This is called being in transference.  Something triggers us.  We are reminded of a past event or different circumstance and we are having that same fight again but with a different person.

     If we are truly honest with ourselves chances are we have said these same words over and over to just about everyone who means anything to us in our lives.  A parent, a sibling, a lover, or a best friend.  My mother, may she rest in peace, used to tell me to never lash out at anyone because you might as well be looking in the mirror.  Something happens in our psyche, something is triggered and it no longer becomes about the person you are talking to.  It becomes all about you.

     This is a scary theory and if you are brave and want to get to the crux of your behavioral patterns, you should try this.  It is time to take stock of the things we say in an argument or misunderstanding with our loved ones.  This is going to take a very open mind.  Open like two double doors onto the botanical gardens kind of open.  

      Most phones now have voice recorder so you just discreetly press record on your phone.  And remember this isn’t about the person you are having the disagreement with.  This is about us.  This is personal and is about our growth and our desires to rise above our patterns.  This is about being honest with ourselves and listening for the recurring themes in our lives.  This digging really deep into the subconscious of our past.  We don’t want to be a broken record.  That means we are not growing.  It means we are still trapped on a vibrational level that threatens to keep us on the hamster wheel.  Argh.  Exhausting.

     One of the things of I am learning in all this is the power of awareness.  It really can set us free.  It sets on a new yellow brick road of possibilities and opens us up to the wonders that come with growth.  Spiritual growth brings epiphanies, coincidences, and many aha! moments.  And those moments mean we are on our right path.  And when we are on our right path there is no room to go in circles anymore.  We must walk ahead.  One foot in front of the other.  Walk away from the past and the habits that threaten to keep us stuck and walk into the future where we are free to start fresh with every word we breathe and every smile we achieve.

Are you ready to break the pattern chain?