“A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other.”
― Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities
Being a writer I have a propensity to choose my words carefully. I love vocabulary and sometimes I challenge the existence of sentence structure. I tend to push the envelope and I try to extract the meaning out of every little thing.
But some things I may never understand. Like, why is that no matter how intelligent you are, you get around someone you have even the slightest crush on and you promptly and repeatedly put your foot in your mouth?
On paper I am honest in my revelations and I have mastered laying my feelings out to dry in the wind. I am not afraid to ask any question and I am the most vulnerable I have ever been.
Well, I did it. I put myself out there. I embraced my vulnerabilities. I have gotten a taste of what it’s like to throw caution to the wind and I want more.
Being a blurter, I am no stranger to getting tongue tied and I have made an art form out of being verbally clumsy. Well, lately I find myself continuously reminded of just how out of practice I am. I had been given a universal gift. One that I had specifically asked for mind you and one that left me stumbling through a bunch of wrapping paper and never ending ribbon. All of my own doing of course.
While it might not be entirely funny, I am actually seeing the humor of my many quirks and eccentricities. With every new experience I am learning what works and what doesn’t. I know what I want and for now I don’t want to compromise. I put myself out there and it was a successful learning curve. Maybe I didn’t pass all the tests but I sure as hell had fun and now I have a reference for how I want things to be.
I put myself out there and I didn’t fall. I was myself and it felt good. I am out living my life instead of writing about what I think it can be. No rehearsal, no blocking, no trial performance. Just life at its finest or most definitely something like it. No regrets.
It is within the course of nature that you will be pursued by people that you’re not always interested in and by the same token the reverse must be true sometimes in order to keep the balance.
Sometimes a question is just a question and you should just answer it. Sometimes people don’t express themselves the same way you do and you have to ask yourself if you are equipped to engage anyway. How do you communicate with someone if you don’t speak the same language?
Some things were meant to be what they were and they aren’t supposed to be more.
And some things (okay most things) aren’t supposed to be this deep. Life is too short or too long to not go after the things you want. This is true. But as a girl, my Cuban father instilled in me that you wait to be invited. You have to know the Universe might have a different plan for you and you have to see that and trust in it and walk away.
Oh and if my father were still here he would probably say to hide your phone when your tipsy. You wouldn’t want to embarrass yourself with lightheaded texting. lol
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