Is This Thing On?{1}

martin phone linesI’ve been working too much and let myself get off balance. When I’m off balance I can’t find my words and my thoughts are all over the place. I’m easily frustrated by that which I don’t understand and my tolerance goes out the window. I have writers block again and it’s a weird thing to have happen when all you need is to get the feelings out on paper but your words won’t help you.

I have some time off from work which is already lending itself to yoga, meditation and self fulfilling prophecy. Today marks another day for starting over, starting fresh and seeing where it will take me. Being the W Chaser serves me well in that I can’t ever settle and I can’t ever give up. And even though I have to know, more importantly I have to let go.

When I let the truth claim me, my humble nature reminds me that I’m vulnerable. Writing out my feelings is how I can communicate without fear of rejection, fear of judgment, fear of unrequited feelings, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of life, or fear of death. There’s nothing to fear but fear itself anyway.  I choose to not fear at all.  I choose to live in the moment and to go for it at all costs.

My truth finds me admitting that while I know what it’s like to have someone like you but you don’t feel the same, I also know what it feels like to like someone who doesn’t feel the same.  Life has a funny way of teaching us about who we are, how we treat people and more importantly who we want to be.

Yes, I am my own worst dichotomy (I think most of us tend to be). I tend to be awkward, verbally clumsy and unsure of myself and yet I’m sexy, strong and confident.  I realize the importance in knowing what part you play in a situation but also what part another person plays.  Some people push buttons in us we didn’t even know we had, unresponsive crazy makers and you’re reminded of someone who past away.

Sometimes history has a funny way of repeating itself and some people don’t know how to express themselves. Some people create circumstances to prove themselves right and they don’t even know they’re doing it. We don’t always realize the power we hold. Well I want to get it right.

Communication is the crux that holds it all together.

For the most part, everyone has access to their own very vivid imagination. And even if you don’t always realize you are doing it, you are retrieving information from your own mind and filling in the blanks. This can reek chaos on your life and your relationships. You don’t want your life to be a random game of telephone do you?

Asking questions can be unnerving. You don’t want people to think you aren’t listening or you don’t understand or that you’re prying. But in order for the lines of communication to work you must be open to the give and take of information. The only way to get the facts is to ask the questions. You don’t want to make assumptions.

Making assumptions means you don’t have all the answers to form a conclusion so you are going to add your own fillers to make the story make sense. The implications of this kind of conjecture leads to disagreements and arguments and it can even lead to distrust.

To help in the process of transforming your life you need to find the courage to inquire. When you express with each other what your wants are you are not leaving any chance for misunderstandings. When you are clear with each other you avoid drama. When you are honest with each other you invoke confidence. Without room for assumptions the truths are exhibited and trust is born.

Also, keep in mind that you must be accountable too. Skirting around issues, giving half truths or not telling a whole story leads to insecurity. Some people are prone to this way of communicating. This is not well suited for everyone. People speak different languages and come with their own versions of baggage and the best way to get through life is to find people who’s baggage matches yours.

It is also important that you honor your boundaries and you trust your intuition. If you feel someone isn’t being honest with you and you find yourself making assumptions than maybe your lines of communication are not compatible or maybe that person just isn’t worthy of your trust. This is a possibility not to be overlooked. Why would you want to be with someone who isn’t honest with you?

Relationships and friendships are meant to be uplifting and inspiring not draining and confusing. By now you should know the difference. Heed the warnings of the red flags and let your intuition give you the insight into your own happiness. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and don’t be afraid to walk away.

Healthy communication is a key to long term exuberance and when this door opens anything is possible.

Are your lines open?

To read more about assumptions check out the book The Four Agreements, by  Don Miguel Ruiz.

 

Photo Courtesy of Martin Linss