I dreamt of a key that carried a message. The feel of it in my hand was typical cold nickel plated brass but mixed with old world charm. It left me wondering if I had missed something. Where had I left those memories again? Holding it up to the light caused the beams to cast a shadow on the wall in the shape of a heart. An emblem of love? Counting the teeth as if the dips and valleys were symbolic in someway I couldn’t help but wonder if they would be the perfect match to a keyhole somewhere I didn’t have directions to.
Was this synonymous of the roller coaster I’ve always felt I was on or was it literally trying to lead the way? It must have known its own address. This was an interesting test.
It wasn’t quite a skeleton key and I innately knew it wouldn’t just open any door. Maybe this was a gateway to the future. Perhaps this was my way out. From Neverland to Wonderland and no more living between lives. How many lifetimes do we live before we get it right anyway? I hope I don’t end up in some house of mirrors and have to face them all. What would I say?
Another part of myself seemed to be trying to cross the barriers of the speed of light. If it’s one at a time and comes with answers, that I can handle. I needed answers. But no such luck. Some journeys are meant to be tackled alone. What kind of doorway was I looking for? Stepping into the confidence of my resource cloak I took my first step crossing through the threshold of where yesterday meets tomorrow. Here I find myself looking in the mirror, quizzically. Hmmm. With one last look I head out my own door with key in hand knowing that if I leap the net will appear.
To keep my life from being someone else’s metaphor I embrace my courage. The key seems to hold the same principals as a compass. Who am I not to follow?
It seems to be taking me on a walkabout. A journey where there is no past and no future. The silence is like music played from another kind of keys and it makes me smile. I’m not in a hurry and I don’t feel lost. I’m alone but I’m not lonely. I feel a love that seems to be emanating from my core. Oh that’s what this feels like. How compassionate and unabridged. Is this what I’ve been looking for outside myself? I was so mistaken.
Somehow I had lost my way. Got wrapped up in the fabrication of misinformation instilled in me in childhood. Blinded by transference and wounded by disregard. All of a sudden I get a strong sense that I have a calling. We all do.
My attention is immediately drawn to the key in my hand now glistening with anticipation. In my peripheral vision I am distracted by a sunbeam of light impressively bright and welcoming. It is radiating from the keyhole of a simple and yet familiar doorway.
Instinctively I reach my hand toward the door and the key fits perfectly. As I slowly open the door and peak behind it my reflection greets me in the mirror. That feeling comes over me again as I put down the key. I’m exactly where I am supposed to be. I am the love I’ve been searching for. I was here all along. We all are.
“In oneself lies the whole world and if you know how to look and learn, the door is there and the key is in your hand. Nobody on earth can give you either the key or the door to open, except yourself.“
~Jiddu Krishnamurti, as quoted in Perfecting Ourselves: Coordinating Body, Mind, and Spirit
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photo courtesy of http://wall.alphacoders.com