I’m just tired enough to know emotionally unavailable has taken over my soul. I think I’ve lost the key to where my heart is kept. Maybe you took it with you when you left. Can you see me from where you are? Dangling from the moon or dancing in the stars. I hope so. What’s it like up there?

Will you visit me in my dreams and take my fears away? Will you just hold me and sing my favorite lullaby? Remind me it’s okay to be me. Envelop me with light and help set me free.

A tired mind is vulnerable. It kinda makes me want to cry.  I have the power of my genes to protect me from the world but is that what I really want to be? How long can I kid myself and call it strength? It’s just running. It was always running.

No more confidence in a bottle and finding intimacy in the sheets. That window closed so long ago but that’s what I was left with trying to bounce back from the loss. All this time now spent facing it. It hurts. Mindless behavior a thing of the past. But I don’t know where that leaves me.

Just a girl now with words that can only live on paper. Sharing stories because you think they won’t be remembered isn’t practicing. It’s still hiding. My mind won’t slow and the chaos can be unbearable. How long will the hiding last? Can you set me on my way and guide me on my path? I need it. Oh and I need my heart back.