Theories of a Karmic Childhood {1}

Which is it? Do we choose our parents or don’t we? And if we don’t pick our family do they pick us? 

From where I sit, it doesn’t matter. I’m older now. Looking back on the proverbial years of my youth I can still hear the anger and the rebellion. To make sense of it all my mind tells me I was taken from the wrong family at the hospital. But even if I truly were someone else’s child, did I end up here as my own karmic contribution to right a past retribution?

Even now as I practice the art of being the detached observer, I can’t stop myself from wondering, what’s the point? 

I won’t get to confront the accusers who blamed me for coming into this life. And no one ever seemed to know the truth so my theories of a karmic childhood seem to leave me predisposed. 

I was always stuck in the middle of it. That has to account for something. It must be significant in some way. I always recognized my soul as old. Many lifetimes of mishaps and misdemeanors just hungry for attention. Growing up too fast had nothing to do with it. In childhood the gifts were a burden and neglected. But thank God the Archangels don’t give up and as the light reaches through you, the darkness dissipates.

My rants shall hopefully bring me closer to the more detailed interpretations of where the past meets the future.

What is your life saying to you?


Karma Rides Again {0}

Where do you go when you go away? And I don’t mean away on vacation or for an afternoon walk. I mean where do you go when you step away from who you thought you were?

Why do you go back to where the patterns of your past have a hold on you? It makes me wonder where I’ve been all this time.

What do you say to yourself that helps you break free?  I find myself wanting to revisit what I learned to figure out if the lessons mattered.

When you’ve been away from the page as long as I have, you can be intimidated by the empty space. If you’re like me, it is all an eye opener.  We all know change is scary. And I’ve been through enough changes in the last 3 years to feel upside down now.

How honest will we be with ourselves? Well I’m optimistic that with every truth I utter I will come closer to salvation. Karma rides again and I must be that much closer to 0 balance.

I hope my bright and cheery disposition wins even if sometimes behind closed doors I’m crying. I’m human. I’m not a bulldozer of strength that can withstand all the trials and tribulations I find myself in. 

I have figured out there’s really good news. We are a cornacopia of resources. Just like for every physical ailment there is an emotional attachment, for every circumstance there is a lesson. 

I’ve decided my best way to tackle the vast empty space is to take each line one at a time and put one word at a time in it’s place.  Like a card reading, it’s time to investigate the moments in comparison to the past that created it. 

Here is where we will set new intentions for the future. An experiment in trust, humility and integrity. Using the lunar new year as a celebration of life, we set our resolution. There is strength in recognition. Power in prayer. Answers in meditation. Art in doing nothing. Epiphanies in silence.

Time to get out of the thinking mind and into the doing state of existence.

What will your explorations say about you? 



Getting In The Zone {0}

You ever get lost in a good song or zone out when someone is talking to you? What happens when you’re deep in prayer? Ever arrive somewhere in your car and think “How did I get here so fast?”  These are all versions of a very relaxed comfortable state of mind. This is when you are one with your impressionable mind; your subconscious. These scenarios and many more not listed here are forms of self-hypnosis and is something we all experience on a daily basis.

This state of mind is most common with athletes and can show by numerous record breaking feats how powerful it can be. Atheletes instinctively know they do their personal best when they let out a deep breath, clear their mind and proceed in a peaceful and determined fashion. This is a form of deep industrial strength self-motivation.

You ever try to do something and you get so frustrated because you just can’t get it or do it? This is you fighting with yourself. You are coming from your conscious mind and you get in your own way. You over think it as it were. We all do it. Society has bred in us that we be overachievers. We move fast to keep up with the Joneses. The more we rush the more things get overwhelming. We need to slow down. When we slow our minds we actually gain time and pick up momentum toward our goals.

This deep state of relaxation is us opening the door to our mind and all its possibilities.

The biggest obstacle we ever face is our self. These barriers present themselves in our thoughts, our habits, and our patterns. Things seem out of reach and the principles of books like The Secret seem like hogwash because they don’t work for us. It’s not that they don’t work, it’s that your mind doesn’t register the whole story. The key to success in any endeavor is getting your minds congruent with one another. Our conscious minds are logical and deep rooted in childhood patterns. Our subconscious minds hold the answers to our misconceptions. It is more powerful than any book and make no mistakes it can harm us just as much as it can work for us.

Our thoughts are all powerful and if our modern day goals and intentions don’t align with the programs and concepts we learned in childhood we will always fall short of our desires. We have to reprogram the mind to override any immature programming’s that were instilled in us as children.

It is possible for us to reprogram ourselves to become resolute in our thinking thereby setting our course for a better life and a better us. It won’t happen over night. It takes practice and engagement. This is a commitment to yourself that you are worth it and a determination to rewrite your story.

It’s never too late to change your thoughts so you can change your life. There will be a lot of repetition. Think about it. If you’re honest with yourself you will admit that you have spent your whole life doing certain things over and over. You have become habitual in your ways. You’re here because you realize these habits no longer serve you. You are getting in your own way. It’s time for you to become whole with yourself so you live the life you imagine.

Take a minute now to honor yourself. Grab a piece of paper and a pen. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths in and out relaxing yourself and your mind. Get into a place of peaceful intention. Start to get some pictures in your mind of what you are determined to achieve. Your goals are never too big or too small. It doesn’t matter how outrageous or unattainable your inner chatter tries to tell you they are. Don’t listen!   Pick up your pen and start writing. Write down what your perfect life looks like.

Write in the first person and write in positive language.

Powerful vocabulary and positive self-talk will play a key role in our change. You are going to override the disparaging voice in your head that has been holding you back. Whether you write a paragraph or three pages doesn’t matter. Just write what feels amazing to you. What brings excitement to your heart and determination in your mind? Keep it close. You may want to add to it as you move forward with this experiment.  Pick one positive sentence about yourself and memorize it. Any time your mind tries to get the best of you, interrupt the thoughts and say your positive I am sentence. Yell it at your inner voice if you have too. Own it. Hold the power that comes with it and keep doing it. Repetition, repetitionn, repetition.

From my experience there are two parts to the subconscious mind and getting congruent with its thoughts, habits and patterns. I think of my subconscious mind as my child self. The bratty, wounded, hurt little one that likes to act out. It part III we will learn some exercises that will help us nurture the inner child that has a hold on our subconscious.  This will be a big key toward our success.  The other side of this is the power the subconscious mind holds and how easy it will do our biddings when we are in a state of mind where we can plant new suggestions. 

The strength, answers and change are within us. We don’t have to look outside ourselves for the answers. Our power lies within. Isn’t time to own your personal power? Can you imagine a life where everything is possible?

I leave you with this story from my favorite book and companion “The Genie Within” by Harry W. Carpenter (http://www.thegeniewithin.com).


A Parable

When he was just a boy, the old man heard a story of a woman who found a corked bottle on the beach. When she pulled the cork from the bottle, she imagined a genie had come out. The genie granted the woman all her wishes. The old man spent his life searching for his own bottle with a genie in it. He combed the beaches of every continent. Because of his obsession, he never had any lasting relationships or held a job for long. He was an unhappy man.  

One day on a beach near his home, he found the bottle he had been looking for. For a reason unknown to him, he felt there was a genie inside. Corks in other bottles were hard to pull out, but this one slipped out easily. Out of nowhere a genie appeared. The genie said to the old man, “I am here to grant you whatever you want.” 

”Whatever I want?”‘ replied the old man.

“Well,” said the genie, “almost anything. Since you are old and have never been in politics, it is unlikely that you would become President of the United States, nor do I think it wise to wish for a spot on the Olympic basketball team. And I do not think you want anything taken at someone else’s expense. So, no, not everything. Still, more than you have dreamed of. Certainly enough to make you happy and peaceful.”

The old man was ecstatic but then he became angry. ”Why has it taken me so long to find you? I could have accomplished so much had I found you when I was young.” 

”Ah, master,” said the genie, “But l I have been with you all along. I was not in that bottle. I have been with you and granting your wishes all of your life. Remember when you were six and you wished your father would pay more attention to you? You cut your finger. That was no accident. Your father washed the cut and held you. Remember? There was the time you flunked the CPA exam. You kept telling me you were not smart enough to be a CPA and that you were not worthy to make as much money as a CPA. Remember how you froze during the exam? You got your wish.” 

“Because you were not aware I was granting your wishes,” continued his genie, “Your wishes often hurt you. Sometimes the wishes were not even yours. They came from parents, teachers, friends and yes, often from TV ads. I am glad you found me. Now you will make wishes that are thoughtful and good. Now we can work together. Together we can stay healthy, find peace, and enjoy the richness of life.”


Part III

              coming soon…

Safety Deposit Box {0}

~ An Introductory Guide to Conscious/Subconscious Congruency ~

Part I

  1. Knowledge: The subconscious mind vs. the conscious mind
  2. Acceptance: The power of taking full deep deliberate breaths
  3. Compliance: Your willingness to get completely relaxed
  4. Simplicity: Trance like state where you are still alert and aware
  5. Commitment: Subconscious suggestibility
  6. Understanding: Logical mind (conscious) vs. Feeling’s mind (subconscious)
  7. Belief: You hold the power to change your thoughts
  8. Growth: When your conscious actions and thoughts are congruent with your subconscious feelings

As a certified hypnotherapist and avid life lesson analyst, I get very excited when asked to talk about the subconscious mind because I’ve spent most of my adult life performing what I call experiments, always delving deeper into the psyche. As I got older, I was like wait a minute. How come I keep doing that? How come I keep saying this? It can’t be a coincidence that my last three relationships resembled one or both of my parents. And when I say relationships it doesn’t just mean intimate relationships. This philosophy extends to friends, colleagues, and even bosses. Have you ever heard the expression; you attract that which you know? We tend to surround ourselves with what is familiar and we’re not the only ones. Our parents did the same thing, as did their parents and theirs… back even further through the ancestral lineage. In my novel, The Karma Chronicles Part 1 Hadrians Seal (Balboa Press a subsidiary of Hay House Publishing, 2017), which is book one of a trilogy, I take a good look at how often-certain patterns and habits get repeated and quite possibly passed down through the ages. Tackling the realities of generational curses, the vicious cycle of bad choices, and submitting to the negative self-talk of personal demons. Today I want to talk about how we have all become experts in recreating familiar experiences. And even though we may say we want something new and different and we really mean it, we keep finding ourselves still repeating the patterns. This is because the thoughts and words that come out of our mouths are not congruent with the feelings deep within us that were formulated in childhood.

Can you imagine a life where everything is possible?

Think of the subconscious mind as your internal safety deposit box. It is literally a memory bank full of defined childhood experiences. Our deposits are made in the form of experiences, thoughts, and cognitive behaviors. As we grew up these emotional deposits became a collective of stored perceptions. And it’s these insights that developed into our very personal model of the world. The subconscious mind processes the deposits and your conscious mind makes withdrawals in the form of involuntary functions, emotions, and habits. Most of our emotional conditionings were programmed in early childhood before our mental faculties matured. These programming’s resulted arbitrarily and were influenced by parents, teachers, peers, TV and, recently, from computer games. Freud said, “Emotional reactions are learned emotionally in childhood and this is carried into adulthood. When we are children, we do not have the faculties that we do in adulthood. We do not know what we are going to need as an adult to cope with situations. Therefore, as adults we (often) react as children.” Thus, our conscious mind reacts by the collective belief system stored in our safety deposit box. And even though these are old programs they are still influencing and possibly controlling our behavior even though many are counterproductive. There is of great importance in investing the time to train your minds to work together. Getting these two parts to be congruent with each other is when your actions and reactions are aligned with your current belief system and values. This occurs when your conscious mind trusts and consolidates the wealth of information the subconscious mind has to offer and this payoff will literally change our life. This is the ultimate win-win situation and harmony in your life will prevail.

Self-hypnosis is a proven effective tool for funding your subconscious mind with new thoughts and habits that are withdrawal ready. Self-hypnosis is a natural, relaxed trance like state of focused awareness. Unlike in sleep you are alert and in control the whole time. This relaxed state is a gateway to your subconscious mind (or habitual mind) where your innate habits and patterns reside. Self-hypnosis is a state where you become receptive to positive suggestions for change. There is an unlimited power source in your mental bank and only you hold the key that will open it. Your subconscious is the source of your motivation, ambition, patterns, habits, emotions, self-talk, behaviors, and attitudes.  

We hold the key to our personal power and with the right tools we can invoke permanent change. I think it’s time for some experiments and personal investigations. You in?


Part II

              coming soon…

Your Influential Mind {0}

89580-beautiful-nature-latest-wallpaper-8575671Letting go isn’t falling and I have settled in nicely with the truth. Our conscious mind adopted habits and patterns that didn’t resonate with our intrinsic values.  What a metaphysical mess.

The subconscious mind (also known as the unconscious mind) has been waiting patiently and silently to help us change the course of our lives. 

It only takes a single thought followed by undeniable intention, backed by unequivocal determination, invoked by immediate action and timed by a specific and deliberate date. This is the difference between just a dream and a tangible goal. With the proper modality anything is possible and dreams do come true. 

Life is full of gifts that you can pass on to the person next to you. Wisdom comes from experience and being grateful will set you free. Expectation leads to accomplishing the unexpected. Maybe it’s time to ask yourself some questions.

Why the hesitation?  What are you here to achieve?  When will you be ready?

Where will it take you?  Who will it make you?

Willy Wonka tried to tell us… “if you want to view paradise, you have to simply look around and view it”. You can do this. We don’t have to subscribe to nature vs. nurture. We have to accept that “thoughts become things” [Mike Dooley].  Age really is just a number and Bob Dylan was right when he sang to us… “I was older than, I’m much younger than that now”.  Serendipitous turnabouts everywhere I look and of late, a smile is my favorite accessory. That’s right. “The power of your subconscious mind” [Dr. Joseph Murphy Ph.D.] is patiently waiting your arrival. You can do this. Self empowerment was always in your hands and the stairway to heaven has you in it’s sights. You’re never alone and you don’t need to look outside yourself for happiness.  You can only love someone as much as you love yourself so love yourself the most! You can do this. If you do what you always did, you will get what you’ve always got. “Everything you ever needed to know you really did learn in kindergarten” [Robert Fulghum] and you’re not where you come from. You’re not what you do and half the time you might not even be who you think you are. So don’t believe half of what you think and know that you are God’s greatest miracle. If you listen carefully you can hear the encouragement whispering in the wind and if you’re watching closely, you’ll notice every time He winks at you. [Squire Rushnell]  

We’ve been given the gift of internal and innate wisdom. We just need to access it… And we hold the all access pass! 

Time to take action. Ready, Set, Go. The world is waiting.


…. to be continued…

Expecting Miracles, Creates Miracles {0}

critical faculty (1)

What would you do if tomorrow didn’t come?  Would you still wait?  What would you say if you knew it had to be today? Would you still be silent? 

Who would you be if you only had now?  

There is no better time than the present. The next minute may never come so be who you are now. Get up and take action.

Don’t let it pass you by. Don’t miss out on what could change your life. Don’t take anything for granted. Don’t take advantage. Get up and take action.

Here today gone tomorrow and live every moment as if it were your last. Wear what you want to wear. Say what you mean. Don’t let your life go unseen. Get up and take action.

Having always been a huge advocate of cognitive action, I am constantly testing theories, trying experiments and reinventing myself for the sake of adaptation. My circumstances called for it.  I answered.

Sometimes we encounter cognitive dissonance because we simply get in our own way or we over think things or over analyze. This is the conscious mind repeating the patterns and habits it learned throughout your life. This behavior will keep us from action. Get up and take action.

We can’t forget our innate ability to rise above circumstance. We can’t be afraid of the inevitable change on the journey to our true self. It is through change that we get to know our strengths, our weaknesses, and ourselves. The answers from our true self are waiting to be heard. Get up and take action.

Expecting miracles, creates miracles. Changing your thoughts, will change your life. 

It’s doable! Think of change as energy and since we are energetic beings we can access our own source to infinite possibilities.  It’s time to change the energy and emerge from whatever low vibrational level you have been operating from. 

Are you ready to let the internal messages of your mind speak to you? I can guide you there.

What would be possible for you if everything was possible?

… to be continued…

Your mind is a Garden {0}

AAEAAQAAAAAAAAKaAAAAJDcyODg4NzFkLWFhZTYtNGIyOS1iZWY4LWYyNWU1YjkwMWFiMgWow. The ups and downs of life just don’t let up. Thank God, we’re never given more than we can handle.  

My life has been complex. Like an atom that splits into a gazillion particles. The particles become the images of my mind. They are filled with intrigue and humility & strength and courage.  They are constantly coaxing me to persevere.

Through the frequent visits into my subconscious, I am deciphering the codes of my patterns and habits. My mind is giving me new insight into the values I hold dear.

The evidence is so clear. It always is. My conscious mind was so focussed on what I didn’t want and that is exactly what I got. No surprise there. I know better. But down the rabbit hole I went. But of course, as you know, I never let anything hold me back.

I am the constant wonderer.  Ruled my inner child, it’s time to hold hands with my intellect and for my intellect to hold hands with my body who is holding hands with my spirit.  This I can work with.  A quadrinity of the self.  And when we are one I can clear my mind of conscious clutter so I can heed the advice and suggestions of my subconscious. This is where the answers are. This is where I will be able to reinforce and replace the self limiting beliefs with new thoughts and actions of empowerment. 

The quantum physics of thought. You become what you think.

The unlimited power within is like a locked door and only we hold the key that will open it.  

My message has been loud and clear. How can I be of service? By being a guide for others. I will guide you to the source that holds all the answers… Your mind! 

Are you ready to plant your seeds?

… to be continued


Who Resides Here {0}


You ever try to go against the grain? The grain that is your life? The essence of who you are and are meant to be? You can’t fight against your essence. It will always be exhausting. You can fight the urge all you want but if your life is trying to tell you something different, I promise you, your life will win.

Give it up. Stop fighting. Surrender. Let your free will take hold of you and show you who you are. You were meant to be. Sign the waiver of release so the world can see you. So you can see you. You’re in there. And it’s time to find yourself again.

Be quiet. Keep to yourself if you need to. Don’t be influenced or provoked. Know the truth is being spoken to you with what isn’t said. Know when stories change and mood swings collide it doesn’t matter what someone else’s truths are. Know you only have yourself to answer to. Don’t be persuaded in the wrong direction. Don’t be manipulated.

Like the call of an animal, the compulsion to be who you were meant to be will reside just below your surface. If you’re going to stay true, you won’t be able to fight it. Let it stir and hope it wakes you.

Like the humming of a bird, give in to the urge to sing and release your trepidations. Keep your thoughts and words as pure as you are and soar to new heights. Let it fly and hope it wakes you.

As true as laughter is a smile that bursts, you are a walking ray of sunshine. You were meant to be happy and your eyes were made to sparkle. Let the giggle free and hope it wakes you.

It’s time to get up. It’s time to play. It’s time to embrace your likeness of being. Live and let live. Dance like no one is watching. Trust your instincts. They always tell the truth. This is where you reside. In your own residence of your true self. 

Love Is All Around {4}

Love-Is-in-the-AirWe can’t get along all the time. Life gets in the way. Emotions run deep and sleep deprivation mixed with long hours can be a cocktail for disaster. Fighting an illness drains your body and tests your emotional agility.  Moods shift like the moon and you just have to ride the wave. With any luck you’ll find your way back. Meaningful apologies hold weight but hope comes in the smallest of gestures.

Like little kisses on the cheek when you’re rushing out the door. Little kisses that carry big promises of adoration and love. 

Honestly, I never thought I would know a love like this. I just couldn’t picture it and didn’t think it was in the cards for me. Quite frankly I didn’t even know this version existed at all.  But it does exist and while sometimes it doesn’t make sense, the truth is, love is a gift of epic proportions.  It should be treated with respect and many very mushy sweet nothings whispered into each others ears.

Love is an anomaly. It can be unpredictable and it can be volatile. Sometimes it’s sweet and charming. While other times it’s mean and defensive. It can make us feel on top of the world or it can trick us into feeling completely insecure. Love is supposed to uplift us. It brings two people together in unimaginable ways. We don’t always pick love. Love picks us. It can take us by surprise and leave us breathless.

Love cures writers block. It’s a catch all. It’s a free fall. It’s a never wanting these feelings to end. It’s looking into someone’s eyes and knowing you would do anything in the world to make sure they’re always happy. Remembering things that are said and sharing deepest emotions and the purest of sexual fantasies.

Believing in soul mates and never wanting to be with anyone else ever again. Love is sexy and daring and full of mischief. Love is what happens under the table where no one can see you. Even when you’re angry or hurt or confused or feel left out, if you think about it hard enough you’ll know. If you think with your heart you will remember the loving moments, the loving words and gestures. The loving glances that show you who you really are. You will know in your heart of hearts that even when we’re not ourselves we will always find our way back.

Love is vulnerable and scary but when two people grab hold of each other unequivocally and jump; the net appears. Love is in the laughter and the wanting to make that person fall harder and further in love with you. Love is in the teasing and the stolen looks. It’s taking chances. It’s meet me on a rail train. Drink my Shirley Temple so we can have the ice.

Sometimes the memories invoke music and if you close your eyes you’ll see the love of your life looking back at you with all the love you feel in your heart that you never thought possible.

When it’s true love, love is all around us. Love will withstand the obstacles. Love will sing to us, like that time in the kitchen when we danced and laughed and sang this old song by John Paul Young while we waited for our morning coffee to brew.


Love is in the air

Everywhere I look around

Love is in the air

Every sight and every sound

And I don’t know if I’m being foolish

Don’t know if I’m being wise

But it’s something that I must believe in

And it’s there when I look in your eyes

Love is in the air

In the whisper of the trees

Love is in the air

In the thunder of the sea

And I don’t know if I’m just dreaming

Don’t know if I feel sane

But it’s something that I must believe in

And it’s there when you call out my name


Love is in the air

Love is in the air

Oh oh oh – Oh oh oh

Love is in the air

Everywhere I look around

Love is in the air

Every sight and every sound


Love looks a lot like you.




photo courtesy of tinybuddha.com

Medicine for You {0}

Smiley Flower Happy!

A little mid-week pick me up…

Life ever after starts from within. 
It starts with a smile or silly little grin.

Choose happiness and find your smile. 
Have an expressive kind of style. 
Be who you are and wear what you want. 
Strut around like a debutante. 
But remember to be nice to all that you meet. 
Love and affection will make you complete. 
Find the humor in all that you do.
Laughter is the best medicine for you.
Being silly starts with a grin
While life ever after starts from within.

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