Life With One Eye Open

Dec 17, 2022

Why Women Should Have More Power in Business

The Basis of Power and It’s Role in Organizational Behavior

Power plays an integral part in organizational behavior (OB), so defining power is crucial to its study. Power refers to the ability and capacity to influence the behaviors of others and/or the course of events. Power is a complex and sometimes complicated notion. It can have both negative and positive effects on us, and it is unique in that power manifests differently in different people. Within the context of OB, power is an amalgamation of internal and external competency. Internal power is represented by the innate qualities of personal power, while external power is represented in a position or title that grants a person power over others. In both cases, anyone in the organizational hierarchy can represent a form or multiple forms of power (Eatough, 2022).

To break down power even further, we look to the bases of power. Authority figures in an organization are known to hold formal power. Formal power works well in hierarchical organizations like Amazon or the military because subordinates (Eatough, 2022) recognize it. Formal power gives a person certain authority within a firm or organization, and that authority lasts for as long as the role is held. Within this bracket, we also find coercive power, which depends on fear of negative results when someone fails to comply. The other side of this, reward power, is the distribution of rewards that others deem valuable. Organizational leaders engaging in reward power are granted the ability (by superiors) to offer benefits and/or rewards in exchange for achieving certain results. Some examples of reward power are promotions, raises, public praise and/or benefits. While this form of power may assist in result fulfillment, it may not ensure loyalty or commitment from staff and employees (Eatough, 2022). The third form of power in this group is legitimate power. Legitimate power emanates from individuals in executive positions in the formal hierarchy of an organization. Legitimate power also derives from the exemplary skill sets required for such roles. This type of power is designated and, therefore, can also be taken away. Innate power, on the other hand, is distinctive and personal.

Personal power can be found in any position, even when one holds no formal power in the organization. The first example of personal power is evideny by expert power. This expert power results from knowledge, experience, and/or specific skills, degrees, and licenses. The other form of personal power is referent power. Referent power is born from admiration and respect. In other words, a person can hold influence over others if that person has desirable personal traits and/or resources (Eatough, 2022). Because power does not always equate to influence, it is essential to report that the most powerful leaders engage in supportive, uplifting, and encouraging communication (Kuhel, 2017). These behaviors and characteristics can lead to effective and successful outcomes. Therefore, we must briefly add to the discussion the vast and significant differences between being a power leader and an effective leader.

According to Forbes Council Member Beth Kuhel (2017), if influence is shared with nine people, that influence increases ninefold as that leader’s influence spreads. Influence leaders seek to identify common interests, and they are privy to the benefits of compromise. Influence leaders also tend to be more likeable because they endeavor to understand other people’s perspectives and seek solutions that benefit everyone. Some other admirable characteristics of influence leaders are their ability to encourage calculated risks, adopt the get-up-and-try-again mentality, and thrive in ways that explore innovative solutions.

Power leaders act contrarily by gravitating toward control, among other things. Studies have shown that power leaders are attention seekers who lead by intimidation and fear, and they can also be righteous and act privileged. Because they are more comfortable around like-minded people, their teams tend to be less innovative (Kuhel, 2017). This behavior can undermine a company or organization’s culture and moral compass.

Another crucial topic when discussing organizational power is the gender differences in leadership positions and board seats. In recent years, companies have increased gender parity, but they did so, not by replacing men with women; they expanded the numbers to include women (Kuhel, 2017). According to Kuhel (2017), two-thirds of seats that went to women in 2022 were newly added positions. At this pace, it would take the better part of 10–30 years to reach gender equality. Currently, there is still a gross underrepresentation of women executives in American organizations, and this could be a direct outcome of social stereotypes. This disparity emphasizes the glass ceiling that many women face under the scrutiny of discrimination.

Gender Differences in Power

Men are not the only ones responsible for the vast array of gender differences in power. Feelings of inadequacy, fear, upbringing, history, and more can cast shadows on the confidence of women. It has been a long-instilled stereotype that power equals masculinity (Buchanan & Badham, 2020). Gender not only shapes power, but it also divides it. Gender inequalities may be the most persistent existing patterns in the distribution of power in our time (Koester, 2015). To look forward, we must first look back. Not so long ago, the characteristics of women were obedient, accommodating, and quiet, while men were perceived to be in control, outspoken, and able to impose their will (the latter of which was especially true toward women). These stereotypes are notoriously responsible for perpetuating power inequalities in organizations, politics, the military, executive boards, and more. Historically, all of these institutions have been dominated by men, mostly white men, which is also tailored to the elite men’s self-imposed status. This has led to and has been quite evident (politically) in recent years in two types of power: men’s power over women and the power of the most “masculine” men over everyone (Koester, 2015). This describes the fundamental motives of how we perceive what power is to begin with. To define power in modern-day conversation, we conclude that power is getting someone to do what we want them to do. This unto itself may be representative of the male experience. Exposure may include, but is not limited to, dominance and hostility. And yet still, they (men) tend to build social relationships with like-minded individuals, quite often for purposes of individual gain and/or ulterior motives (Giacomin, Tskhay, & Rule, 2021). If women can be the backbone of the household, then they can be a force of empowerment in the workplace, especially in leadership positions, for a variety of reasons.

There is a famous quote that sums it up: “It is hard to be a woman. You must think like a man, act like a lady, look like a young girl, and work like a horse” (Quotes Gram, n.d.). Most women can relate to this saying and have much to say about it. The bottom line is that where there are women in the workplace, there is judgment. Women have, notoriously, been evaluated by their looks instead of their intellect. And studies have shown the discrimination goes far deeper. Some explanations for the lack of women in leadership positions include but are not limited to organization dynamics, competitive self-selection, human capital differences, evolutionary forces, and discrimination (Giacomin, Tskhay, & Rule, 2021). Observations of the past show us that we are not only being judged for being women, but how we look also plays a part in our underrepresentation in leadership positions. The prejudice toward females in leadership positions is demonstrated in role congruity theory.

Role congruity theory suggests that a group will be positively evaluated when perceived characteristics like behaviors, traits, and skills, within a job role is aligned with that group’s typical social roles. Prejudice stems from women being perceived as less capable than men to fulfill leadership roles and evaluating behavior that fulfills the prescriptions of a leader role less favorably when it is enacted by a woman (Eagly, & Karau, 2002). If men cannot adopt a more positive attitude toward women in leadership roles, research suggests that their organizations will not reap the benefits the female approach brings to business.

Recent studies show that women have an alternative view of what it means to be in a place of power (Giacomin, Tskhay, & Rule, 2021). To define it, we look to empower and transform ourselves and others. This is an example of referent power, which is based on identifying with a person who has desirable personal traits and/or resources. Referent power thrives and evolves from a place of admiration and respect. This might give us an edge in executive roles in any company and/or organization. Having special forms of influence on decision-making because of our particular social status provides a new and fresh perspective. Koester (2015) gives an excellent example of women working toward peace in Liberia. They (the women) were able to achieve elevated levels of trust among opposing factions by accentuating their non-threatening roles as sisters, mothers, and wives (Koester, 2015). According to Board Bound, the Women’s Leadership Foundation, studies provide proof of the value that women bring to leadership positions and board seats. Further to this data, boards with one or more women performed better than boards with all men (Choudhury, 2014). Validation and recognition come from real-world experience. For example, Adam Contos, the CEO of RE/MAX, was quoted in 2022 as saying, “We don’t need to just talk about the importance of women in leadership positions; we need to demonstrate that it’s important.” Two of our four C-Suite executives are female; over 40% of our board is female, and even at the network level, we’re close to 50/50 in terms of agents and franchise ownership.” Yuval Wasserman, CEO of Advanced Energy, was quoted (2021) as saying, “Before having women on the board, as part of the team, the conversations were highly focused on results: ‘What have you done for me lately.’ Now the conversations are not only about what you have done for me lately but also about, ‘How did you get there? So suddenly, we have broader and deeper conversations…. And I think it became a healthier, more rounded, and more rich discussion.”

Data shows us favorable results in advocating for women on corporate boards; for instance, global companies with more than one woman perform better than those without any women, with 3.5 percentage points of excess compound returns per year, higher price and book valuations, and superior stock price performance (Choudhury, 2014). Women leaders reflect and represent the communities they serve, so the more we see this group represented, the better for business and those communities.

How Having Women with Greater Power on a Board Changes Firm Performance

Women have positive impacts on how boards perform tasks. These include, but are not limited to, positive outcomes for the bottom line, being solution-oriented, solving problems and overcoming challenges, increased diligence, and better communication. Women have shown a proclivity toward strategy development, management monitoring, and improving corporate social responsibility. They also bring an essential element to the executive branch that did not exist before them: insight into the female client. Women also present strong effort norms that in turn intensify the board’s effort norms, and boards with women experience more cohesiveness (Choudhury, 2014). Suffice it to say that female additions to executive boards and power positions also improve an organization’s reputation.

Why A Quota System to Promote Gender Diversity is a Good Idea

Research continues to show that the more women in a company, the more profitable it is. With this data, the conclusion must be drawn that businesses and organizations, the economy, and society should be vested in the talent in front of them, women. While a quota system would put an end to the “old boys club” mentality by opening up executive board seats and management positions to qualifying females, it is not so easy to implement. And it is important to note that while gender equality quotas may be deemed necessary during the time it takes to eradicate prejudice and discrimination (Turan, 2018), said quotas would need to be lifted in accordance with equal opportunity mandates and the constitutional right of equality for all. While we agree that quotas could/would help gender inequality and bias in management positions, quotas can and are viewed as violations of perceptions of justice at the individual level, even though they cultivate fairness in terms of gender-appointed positions (He & Kaplan, 2019). Another concern quotas can create is further resentment and discrimination of women by those men who feel unjustly overlooked. Men out rule and outrank women in most organizations and firms, which can undermine quota effectiveness in giving women more access to leadership roles and board seats. Luckily, Fortune 500 and 1000 companies are recognizing the value that women on boards bring to their companies and are setting their own quotas for their company’s offices in the United States and abroad.

Why Some Countries Have More Gender-Diverse Boards Than Others

Research and real-world experience have repeatedly shown us that more gender-diverse boards are more successful. In 2012, the 30% Club was founded and launched based on the mission to reach at least 30% representation of all women on boards and c-suites globally. Most recently, this has been surpassed as more global businesses, including J.P. Morgan Asset Management, BlackRock, and Standard Life to name just a few, have publicly shown their support for this mission (Fetherolf, 2020). Here are just some examples of corporate entities joining this cultural revolution. David Solomon, Goldman Sachs’ CEO announced in January 2020 that they would not take any company public unless there was at least one diverse board candidate with a focus on women. He also stated that IPOs where women served on the board performed significantly better than their all-male counterparts. This data has been backed by a study published in the Harvard Business Review, which found that “female board members helped balance the overconfidence of male CEOs, and the result was improved decision-making for the business. The report correlated CEOs’ overconfidence with overestimation of returns and underestimation of risk, both of which can diminish shareholder value. Inclusion of women, they found, improved the quality of board deliberations, and different perspectives increased the information available for exploring and resolving complex issues. They also observed that female directors are more independent in their views since their backgrounds are devoid of ‘old boy network’ connections” (Fetherolf, 2020). Over the past three years, global trends have reflected a steady increase in female board members, with some countries leading the pack. Regulations vary from country to country, with Europe holding the most stringent gender quota mandates (D’Hoop-Azar, Sancho, Martens, & Papolis, 2017). The stricter the guidelines and regulations for diverse board members seem to present the most equality, as is evident in Norway, Sweden, and the United Kingdom. Contrary to this, the countries with the fewest regulations, like the United States, Japan, South Korea, Greece, and Russia, to name just a handful, show the least representation. It should be noted that the United States is currently leading the charge in changing views and acceptance of the importance and value of women board members (D’Hoop-Azar, Sancho, Martens, & Papolis, 2017). The numbers speak volumes. Women add value to the organizational structure and bring perspective to positions of power that are to be admired.

Support and Summation for Why Women Should Have More Power

People’s responses to power bases are as varied as individual personalities and perceptions, but the facts, data, and statistics are transparent. Studies correlate more diverse boards with higher performance. Women in positions of power act as role models for future generations. Women empower women not just in career advancement, but they also leave significant impressions for greater societal norms and gender and pay equality. The achievements of women in positions of power are meaningful and profound. Women help change workplace policies to the benefit of both women and men because they bring balance to communication, problem solving, and discussions. Women also break the barriers of past discrimination by creating environments that represent what can be achieved by those who are determined, persistent, and hard-working. Being natural-born caretakers, women can maneuver through most, if not all, challenges with an open mind and a proclivity toward positive and successful outcomes. These qualities and so many more are a great argument for why women are natural-born leaders and how most can handle positions of power in business and any other organizational opportunity.

References

Birken, M. A., & Cigna, G. P. (2019). Gender diversity on boards: A cause for multilateral organizations. In Good Governance and Modern International Financial Institutions (pp. 25-43). Brill Nijhoff

Buchanan, D., & Badham, R. (2020). Power, politics, and organizational change. Sage.

Choudhury, B. (2014). The Value of Women on Boards of Directors – Looking Beyond Results. https://www.womensleadershipfoundation.org/why-women-on-boards

D’Hoop-Azar, A., Sancho, E., Martens, K., & Papolis, P. (2017). Gender parity on boards around the world. Retrieved December 16, 2022, from https://corpgov.law.harvard.edu/2017/01/05/gender-parity-on-boards-around-the-world/

Eagly, A. H., & Karau, S. J. (2002). Role congruity theory of prejudice toward female leaders. Psychological Review, 109(3), 573–598. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295x.109.3.573.

Eatough, E. (2022). The 5 types of power effective leaders use. Retrieved December 15, 2022, from https://www.betterup.com/blog/types-of-power

Fetherolf, M. (2020). The-importance-of-gender-diversity-in-the-boardroom. https://www.diligent.com/insights/board-diversity/the-importance-of-gender-diversity-in-the-boardroom/

Fine, C., Sojo, V., & Lawford‐Smith, H. (2020). Why does workplace gender diversity matter? Justice, organizational benefits, and policy. Social Issues and Policy Review, 14(1), 36-72.

Giacomin, M., Tskhay, K. O., & Rule, N. O. (2021). Gender stereotypes explain different mental prototypes of male and female leaders. https://reader.elsevier.com/reader/sd/pii/S1048984321000837?token=04B5AF0CAF3039EDC3A56B56B5EAC7C61EA73BDB2BC04ED00A07582EE5C4CC87E6F65203965AF4FD4300D51639830FDD&originRegion=us-east-1&originCreation=20221215164416

He, J., & Kaplan, S. (2019). The debate about quotas. https://www.gendereconomy.org/the-debate-about-quotas/

Turan, Güler. (2018). Why quotas work for Gender Equality. OECD. Better Policies for Better Lives. https://www.oecd.org/social/quotas-gender-equality.htm

Iversen, T., Rosenbluth, F. M., & Skorge, Ø. (2020). The dilemma of gender equality: How labor market regulation divides women by class. Daedalus, 149(1), 86-99

Koester, D. (2015, May 21). Gender and power: Six links and one big opportunity. Retrieved December 16, 2022, from https://www.dlprog.org/opinions/gender-and-power-six-links-and-one-big-opportunity

Kuhel, B. (2017, November 17). Council post: Power vs. influence: Knowing the difference could make or break your company. https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2017/11/02/power-vs-influence-knowing-the-difference-could-make-or-break-your-company/?sh=63f96b5b357c

LaRaine Ingram, K. (2019). Power and culture in human-centric innovation ecosystems. Journal of Management and Training for Industries, 6(2), 1–16. https://search.informit.org/doi/10.3316/informit.016956022471414

Lewellyn, K. B., & Muller-Kahle, M. I. (2020). The corporate board glass ceiling: The role of empowerment and culture in shaping board gender diversity. Journal of Business Ethics, 165(2), 329-346.

MacLellan, L., & McGlauflin, P. (2022). Women are joining boards at slower rates. https://fortune.com/2022/09/13/boards-taking-more-expansive-view-diversity-at-expense-of-gender-parity/

Olong, K. (n.d.). Act like a lady think like a man quotes. https://quotesgram.com/act-like-a-lady-think-like-a-man-quotes/

Olsen, A. (2022). Women hold a record number of corporate board seats. it’s barely over 25%. https://fortune.com/2022/09/30/how-many-women-sit-corporate-boards-record-28-percent-russell-3000/

Shannon, J. (2019). Gender differences or gendered differences: Understanding the power of language in training and research in supervision. International Journal for the Advancement of Counselling, 41(4), 598-608.

By pcarlson Category: blog

Developing a Philosophy of Life

Adaptability and Flexibility for a Rewarding Life Experience

A childhood full of chaos, and the challenges were upon me from the very beginning. Born to a mother who did not want me, my name engraved on multiple statistics lists, much of life was spent lost and confused. Yet in spite of a difficult start, somehow, I knew I was here for a bigger purpose (Corey, Corey, & Muratori, 2018). Turning back or giving up were not options. When there is nothing to lose, perspective follows. My belief that the Archangels were guiding me and speaking to me through my poetry led me down a path that unfolded like a screenplay. Convinced that I was not my past set me on a journey to rewrite my story, my beliefs, my values, and my philosophies of life. And in all this, one thing was constant, my best life was always available to me as long as I flowed like water. When we flow or “be” like water, we are nimble and agile and vigorous and lively. To truly flow like water would make us natural, formless, authentic, adaptable, soft (or) strong, sentient, and unstoppable (Lee, 2020). This kind of flexibility gives us the ability to reinvent ourselves, adapt to most situations, and pivot in different directions. This approach softens the blows, opens us up to being solution oriented and can give us purpose (Skrzypińska, 2020). If we strive to be our best and most authentic self, we figure out what we love and we follow that with all our heart. We must cultivate our desires, goals, aspirations, and relationships, especially our relationship with self. Like no other species on earth, humans have been gifted with the capability of defining our own lives by reflecting on our own existence and to initiate and make our own choices (Corey, Corey, & Muratori, 2018). To always wonder and forever question can help us grow and evolve mentally, physically, emotionally, financially, and to establish deep and meaningful relationships and connections. We should look within for the answers. Proof that we really do hold the power within us to be whomever we want to be, if we listen to our life, body, and internal messages (Beuchner, 2017), my automatic writings over the years became relentless teachings (Lysaker, 2018),

“Letting go isn’t falling and I have settled in nicely with the truth. Our conscious mind adopted habits and patterns that didn’t resonate with our intrinsic values. What a metaphysical mess. The subconscious mind (also known as the unconscious mind) has been waiting patiently and silently to help us change the course of our lives. It only takes a single thought followed by undeniable intention, backed by unequivocal determination, invoked by immediate action, and timed by a specific and deliberate date. This is the difference between a dream and a tangible goal. With the proper modality anything is possible, and dreams do come true. Life is full of gifts that we can pass on to the person next to us. Wisdom comes from experience and being grateful will set us free. Expectation leads to accomplishing the unexpected. Willy Wonka (Wilder, Albertson, Stuart, Dahl, & Warner, 2011) tried to tell us, “If we want to view paradise, we have to simply look around and view it”. We don’t have to subscribe to nature vs. nurture. We have to accept that “thoughts become things” (Mike Dooley, 2010). Age really is just a number and Bob Dylan was right when he sang to us, “I was older than, I’m much younger than that now”. Serendipitous turnabouts everywhere and of late, a smile is my favorite accessory. “The power of our subconscious mind” (Murphy, 2019) is patiently waiting our arrival. We can do this. Self-empowerment was always in my hands and the stairway to heaven has me in its sights. We are never alone, and we don’t need to look outside ourselves for happiness. We can only love someone as much as we love ourselves so I shall love myself the most! If I do what I always did, I will get what I have always gotten. “Everything we ever needed to know we really did learn in kindergarten” (Fulghum, 1988) I am not where I come from and I am not what I do and half the time I may not even be who I think I am. So, I won’t believe half of what I think and know that I am God’s greatest miracle. If I listen carefully, I can hear the encouragement whispering in the wind and if I am watching closely, I will notice every time He (God) winks at me (Rushnell, 2018). We have been given the gift of internal and innate wisdom. We have been granted an all-access pass. We just need to access it.” (Carlson, 2016).

Rereading these words, and so many others, written since youth, reminds me that formulating, developing, and amending my own philosophy of life has been occurring all along. Being a self-proclaimed “W” chaser, has motivated me to know the who, what, why, when, and where of every little thing. My quest to get to know myself and to figure out who I was and who I wanted to be, in spite of where I came from, has been a constant driving force. A successful life reminds me of a successful business plan. It is a breathing, living, ever evolving, always changing document that can keep us on the right track and show us when it is time to make a right turn.

The Pursuit of Identity and Healing the Past

My life took on new meaning based on these main philosophies; thoughts become things, so choose the good ones (Dooley, 2019), the world will give us what we ask of it, so we must be careful what we ask for (Matthew 7:7-12), do unto others as we would have done unto us (Matthew 7:7-12), karma is a boomerang (Caplan, 2018), we are not organisms in the environment (universe), we are enviro-organisms (Corris, 2020), and I am here for a higher purpose. This thinking has not only changed me but continues to provide me with the tools to understand and learn from life experiences. Life philosophies can be considered breathing organisms to which we are connected in motion and experience from different perspectives. Beuchner (2017) suggests total daily life philosophy (TDLP) personifies a state of awareness of the living experience. Our communication with the universe can make us one with the universe and where multiple dimensions of truth can be discovered and gives us expanded visions that can make us solution oriented and more. (We) and our philosophies are not limited or moderated by boundaries like those of time and space. Philosophies of life are relevant in all conditions, places, and times. They are enriched with physical and biological sciences, morality and ethics, sociology, economics, politics, and theology (Beuchner, 2017). The ability to pivot our thinking and/or direction as it becomes necessary is a sign that we are capable of not only exploring but also modifying our priorities, habits, patterns, and beliefs. Listening to and trusting our inner voice will help us define the core values that give our lives meaning (Sagiv, Roccas, Cieciuch, & Schwartz, 2017).

Just like the world will give us what we ask of it (even if subconsciously) so too can our bodies do what we demand of it, and our minds will do what we think with it (Freris, 2013). Our thoughts can create a life worth living as long as our thoughts stay congruent with our goals, values, and beliefs. This can be two-fold because evidence now shows that we are not just contending with the challenges of this life (Caplan, 2018). There tends to be a strong correlation between our current psychological challenges, patterns, and habits and those of our ancestors. Most people when they think of karma think of past lives, as in their own, but past lives can also mean those that came before us. It makes sense that we take on characteristics of parents and peers just as they took on the features and attributes of their parents and peers and so on and so far, back it goes. An important function of acquiring our own identity, beliefs and philosophies would be to rebel against the patterns and habits of those that came before us if they do not serve our higher good. Years of unconscious programming engrains these habits and patterns into our psyche. They can become defense mechanisms and automated responses. But we can override them and take control of our lives. It takes awareness, time, commitment, and repetition to replace habits and patterns that do not serve us with positive counterparts that redefine and uplift us. Most of all, change, growth, and healing can come from forgiveness.

Forgiveness, Higher Powers, and Values

Forgiving others can be hard but it is necessary and forgiving ourselves plays a crucial part in the healing process. Wills (2018), a great healer and the author of many transformational prayers, opened eyes to the importance of forgiveness in order to heal past wounds and traumas. This includes personal and ancestral experiences. Part of the process is to be humble, judge free and to open up through mindfulness and breathing. Once in the proper state of mind, the prayer is spoken 3 times out loud. This form of forgiving has given me a sense of freedom I never knew existed and has opened my life to receiving messages, gifts, happiness, and successes. This little prayer has connected me to the Universe in a way that is indescribable, “God, Please Help Me Forgive All People All People Forgive Me Help Us All Forgive Ourselves Please God, Thank You God, Amen Thank You God, Amen” (Wills, 2018).

Another part of my life philosophy is my connection and communication with my team of Archangels. They speak to me through my poetry and writings and have guided me through my life. They have shown me that I am significant and necessary and that I am here for a bigger purpose. They have helped me accept and understand that the traumatic events experienced throughout childhood and adolescence were steppingstones of knowledge for who I was to become. The events did not define me, it was my attitudes toward those events that drove me to learn and understand and forgive. Being part of and open to these higher powers that are so much more than me in this life have helped me be the best version of myself. My gratitude, compassion, empathy, desire to be of service and to make a difference stem from my connection to the Devine and that we are all equal, connected and made in love. In the eloquent and spiritually connected words of Howard Wills (2018), “We should strive for enlightenment and realization. The simple secret formula for successful living on planet earth: surrender, faith, hope, trust, love, patience, neutral, loving, supportive, compassionate, wanting the best for all people and all things at all times, humility, gratitude, reverence, respect, and love. Within this collection of words lie all the secrets to life on planet earth. Enjoy your discoveries and your continual illumination!”

To live in this kind of light as often as possible, we must engage in periodic examination of our lives. Taking new inventories of what is important can help us stay true to who we are, who we want to be, and where we want to go. Knowing our core values are essential and can define our very existence (Corey, Corey, & Muratori, 2018). It is necessary to also know that a metamorphosis occurs throughout our lifetime. What was valuable to us 10 years ago may not resonate with us today and that is ok. That is part of flowing like water as we navigate through life’s adventures.

My values have definitely changed over my lifetime and while a lot of them may still be on the list, the order of significance tends to shift around. Today some of my core values reflect flowing like water, if we leap the net will appear, having compassion and being of service, feelings of empathy and being sensitive to others, asking questions and being an active listener, loving others and being loved, being patient and understanding, being healthy and fit, being ok with vulnerability, trusting and being trusted, being in harmony, being one with everything, appreciating nature & my surroundings, enjoying intimacy, security, courage, outdoor activities, work and career, being open to all cultures and experiences, being an enviro-organism, being independent, vulnerable, diligent, respectful, being a doer, being in control of my own life, being one with the Universe, accepting others the way they are and embracing our differences, being a detached observer, living and letting live, cooperation, understanding & patience, enjoying solitude and self-reflection, engaging in competition, facing challenges and being solution oriented, being calm, cool & collected. When my mind is open, new messages can be received, not just from within but from watching, listening, and learning from others. This connectedness adds great benefits and value to life experiences and relationships and are the perfect foundations for developing and maintaining a philosophy of life (Corey, Corey, & Muratori, 2018).

Decisions

My life was not always pleasant and sometimes I made bad choices and did rotten things. Hurting people was never my intention. But my lack of knowledge of how to deal with my past kept me running. It never occurred to me that people would want me to stay in their lives. The concept was just so foreign. Older now, my new moral compass guides my journey to heal, forgive and be forgiven. There is a pursuit of dharma and living by a strict moral code (Billimoria, 2021) while continuing to be of service, and advocating for justice and equality for all. I was very fortunate at a young age to read the Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin (Franklin, & Aaron, 2011), so my ethical values are always at the forefront of my objectives and goals. Franklins (2011) “Thirteen Virtues of Success” were Temperance, Silence, Order, Resolution, Frugality, Industry, Sincerity, Justice, Moderation, Cleanliness, Tranquility, Chastity, and Humility. And the way to embody them was through practice and repetition. These are hard to embrace on a daily basis because life gets in the way, moments can take us by surprise and triggers can send us into a tailspin of transference. This leads me to one of the most important lessons of all: when developing and maintaining my philosophies of life, I must be patient with myself, go easy and know that we are all a work in progress. We will falter but strength comes from being accountable, being humble, and being honest. Knowing when to ask for forgiveness and being brave enough to ask for help. Greeting each day and every person and experience with love in our heart, an open mind, and to always flow like water.

References:

Alkhatib, A., & Latyshev, O. (2019). Total Daily Life Philosophy (Tdlp): New Conceptual and Fundamentals [Ebook]. Dialogo-conf.com.

Bilimoria, P. (2021). Bimal K. Matilal’s Philosophy: Language, Realism, Dharma, and Ineffability. RUDN Journal Of Philosophy, 25(2), 250-259. doi: 10.22363/2313-2302-2021-25-2-250-259

Buechner, F. (2017). Listening to Your Life — Frederick Buechner. https://www.frederickbuechner.com/listening-to-your-life

Caplan, M. (2018). Yoga & psyche. Boulder: Sounds True.

Corey, G., Corey, M., & Muratori, M. (2018). I never knew I had a choice: Explorations in personal growth (11th ed.). Boston: Cengage Learning.

Corris A. (2020). Defining the Environment in Organism-Environment Systems. Frontiers in psychology, 11, 1285. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.01285

Dooley, M. (2010). Choose them wisely. Thoughts become things. Hillsboro: Beyond Words.

Franklin, B., & Aaron, D. (2011). The autobiography. New York: Library of America.

Freris L. (2013). Mind and matter. Communicative & integrative biology, 6(6), e26658. https://doi.org/10.4161/cib.26658

Fulghum, R. (1988). Everything I ever really needed to know I learned in kindergarten. Evanston, Ill.: Press of Ward Schori.

Głaz S. (2019). The Relationship of Forgiveness and Values with Meaning in Life of Polish Students. Journal of religion and health, 58(5), 1886–1907. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10943-019-00860-4

Lee, S. (2020). Be water, my friend. New York: Flatiron Books.

Lysaker, J. T. (2018). Philosophy, writing, and the character of thought. In Philosophy, Writing, and the Character of Thought. University of Chicago Press.

Matthew 7 | NIV Bible | YouVersion. (2011). https://www.bible.com/bible/111/MAT.7.NIV

Murphy, J. (2019). The Power of Your Subconscious Mind. La Vergne: True Sign Publishing House.

Nemko, M. (2020). Developing Your Personal Philosophy of Life. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-do-life/202001/developing-your-personal-philosophy-life

Ozerova, Y. (2019). The Psychology of Karma. Stockbridge: Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health.

Rushnell, S. (2006). When God winks at you. Nashville: Nelson Books.

Skrzypińska, K. (2020). Does Spiritual Intelligence (SI) Exist? A Theoretical Investigation of a Tool Useful for Finding the Meaning of Life. Journal Of Religion And Health, 60(1), 500-516. doi: 10.1007/s10943-020-01005-8

Wilder, G., Albertson, J., Stuart, M., Dahl, R., & Warner Home Video (Firm). (2011). Willy Wonka & the chocolate factory. United States: Warner Home Video.

By pcarlson Category: blog

C-Stop Keeping Production Working Safely

There are three things that are essential to film production and even more so in this new chapter. The first two we are very familiar with: coming in on or under budget and staying on schedule to make that happen. But now we have a duty to protect the health and safety of our crews, talent and families like never before. This is a HUGE responsibility not to be taken lightly. We must treat this with reverence and respect because one careless move could put us all at risk. In order for us to keep working in a safe and healthy way, we need to establish a new department of team leaders that we know and trust. This team becomes the face of the company they represent and therefore must be culpable and professional in our collective and vigorous fight against infectious diseases especially COVID-19.

The COVID compliance team (CCT) is not production, nor is it craft services, or locations. The COVID compliance officer (CCO) or team member is not one person with a certificate. The CCO or CCT cannot be medical personnel or set medics without a production background either. In our experience, the most successful teams have been a collaboration of veteran union set-medics, coupled with experienced Producers and/or Production Managers with multiple COVID compliance certificates between them. Keeping our sets safe takes pre-planning, insightful conversations, compassion and strength. We need to anticipate, be proactive, and solution oriented.

The CCT needs to be educated, well informed and organized. We need to be smart, quick on our feet and well trained. We need to be great communicators, thoughtful and discrete. Using the suggestions and guidelines from DGA, SAG, AICP, OSHA, Task Force, IATSE, set medic unions, and more, we have derived a plan that paves the way for a seamless and favorable shoot. We adapt, modify and adjust our approach to fit perfectly within each location, set and crew size. We are able to reconstruct our methods and systems to align with productions needs and expectations while still keeping the health and safety of all participants at the forefront of our goals. We work together to address and implement the best strategies for advancement.

Our short time back into production in this new chapter has taught us a lot. And the biggest take away is that there is a lot involved. Our current field experience as a consistent team working side by side and hand in hand from tech scout to prep to shoot to wrap has allotted us the most invaluable understanding and practical knowledge that will far exceed any expectations.

Our action plans, techniques and methodologies are meant to set a new high standard for our way forward with protocols and guidelines that help prevent the transmission of COVID-19 in our industry and at home.

By pcarlson Category: blog

Mar 27, 2020

Creative Genius and Mental Illness & The Fine Line Between Them

By pcarlson Category: adaptation, answers, Beethoven, behavior, benjamin franklin, blog, Charles Darwin, Charles Dickens, Creativity, Depression, discovery, empathy, Featured, Genius, intention, IQ, IQ Society, Issac Newton, love, Manic Depression, manifestation, Mensa, Mental Illness, Nikola Tesla, Recent Posts, Schizophrenia, self motivation, Tesla, trust, Uncategorized, Winston Churchill

Sep 17, 2019

Being Accountable: The Benefits of the Integration of Mindfulness into Positive Psychology

Life is full of unpredictable events, people and circumstances. Time moves quickly and information overload is a barrage of other people’s perceptions being imposed on us in every given moment from everyday modern day devices. Life can be so overwhelming with fierce competition of this overpopulated society of tech savvy millennial. The incessant deluge of media can generate the comparability pattern and leave people feeling unqualified and exposed. Comparing oneself to others has even lead to suicide (Carr, 2015). While modern day life is full of outside influences that can cause anxiety, it is imperative that we gain back our personal control and be accountable for our thoughts, emotions and our lives.

When we take full responsibility, our market value will increase, our self-esteem will grow and our performance will improve. When we respect ourselves respect from others will follow (Smith, 2019). How do we become the best versions of ourselves? We become the best versions of ourselves by changing our mindset and holding ourselves accountable. When something mattered, my mother always said, “No one is going to work as hard for you as you will for yourself” and Audrey Hepburn said, “Remember, if you’re looking for a helping hand, there is one at the end of your arm” (Turu, 2016). The three most important types/areas of your life where accountability is crucial are (and these are scaled back sub-lists):

Your responsibilities

Returning calls in a timely manner
Spending less than you earn
Fulfilling your job requirements to the best of your ability

Your actions and choices

Communication
Behavior
Attitude

Your goals

Health & fitness
Family objectives
Career Ambitions

It is never too late (or too early) to take action in life, whether you are fifteen or fifty, cultivating accountability is the first step toward success (Smith, 2019). But how do we get there? How do we stop dwelling on past mistakes and refrain from being preoccupied (in unhealthy ways) by our uncertain future? For many, the answer to living a present life is mindfulness and as of late, mindfulness seems to have gone viral (Gjelsvik, B., Tickell, A., Baer, R., O’Neill, C., & Crane, C. 2018). It is common for mindfulness to be associated with meditation but there is so much more to it (Moore, 2019). According to the American Psychological Association (APA.org, 2012), mindfulness is:

“…a moment-to-moment awareness of one’s experience without judgment. In this sense, mindfulness is a state and not a trait. While it might be promoted by certain practices or activities, such as meditation, it is not equivalent to or synonymous with them.”

In essence, mindfulness involves awareness and an unbiased view of said awareness. It is a state that can be brought on through daily practice. Another interpretation, and one that is more widely accepted, originates with MBSR (mindfulness-based stress reduction) creator Jon Kabat-Zinn (1944- ):
“The awareness that arises from paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally” (Riopel, 2019).

Kabat-Zinn maintains that we must focus conscious attention on the ‘right here, right now’ (Moore, 2019). Tapping into the strong connection between the mind and pain, and/or the mind and anxiety to name just a couple of examples, can help reach appropriate emotional responses and to change behaviors (Riopel, 2019).

The Origins of Mindfulness

According to a Times Magazine (2015) cover story “The Mindful Revolution”, we are experiencing an obsession over mindfulness. Evidence-based findings suggest mindfulness has clear and relevant benefits (Pickert, 2014). Practitioners are able to quiet their busy mind and concentrate on events happening in the current moment. While mindfulness is a relatively new concept in Western cultures it is being used to alleviate conditions like substance abuse, obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, anxiety, eating disorders and more (Hocevar, 2018). In actuality, mindfulness meditation is not all that new. It has been practiced in some way, shape or form, by every culture and religion for thousands of years. Mindfulness meditation practices seem to originate in the East by religious and spiritual institutions and popularized in the West by certain individuals and secular institutions (Selva, 2017). There is also evidence that spiritual meditation has been found in Indian scriptures dating back as far as 5,000 to 3,500 BCE (Hocevar, 2018).

In current times, the appearance of mindfulness meditation is credited mostly to Jon Kabat-Zinn, professor emeritus and founding director of the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care and Society at University of Massachusetts’ Medical School. Kabat-Zinn is also founding director of the Stress Reduction Clinic at University of Massachusetts and the author of many best selling novels on the subject of mindfulness. His mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) is offered by medical centers, health maintenance organizations and hospitals (Kabat-Zinn, 2019). His eight-week MBSR program is aimed at helping to reduce stress. MBSR has a deep-rooted foundation in Eastern teachings of mindfulness meditation that he integrated with Western science. It is said that this integration is what caused mindfulness to grow in population and respect as a methodology (Selva, 2017). MBSR is said to be the inspiration for another mindfulness-based therapy program aimed at treating major depressive disorders and is known as Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT). The intention of MBCT therapy is for people to change their unproductive thoughts. To help patients get a grasp on the correlation between mood disorders and various modes of the mind, MBCT uses proven psychological techniques (Selva, 2017). Like MBSR, MBST is usually taught in an eight-week format and MBST actually draws upon the structure and some of the approaches of MBSR in its program.

In 1979, mindfulness was not considered to help reduce stress, so Kabat-Zinn sought the assistance of Saki Santorelli, EdD, MA, educator, meditation teacher, writer and professor of medicine, to explore the use of mindful techniques to reduce mental stress, anxiety, and to concurrently improve physical symptoms. Santorelli was the one who helped develop the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Clinic at University of Massachusetts and became director in 2000. As a result of the program being connected to a hospital it was accountable to the Hippocratic Oath and thereby gained the attention of the world and the media and respect was soon to follow. Today mindfulness is taught in healthcare institutions, professional sports, in corporate environments and in the U.S. Military (Hocevar, 2018).

Western science has finally evolved enough that evaluations can be made to the effectiveness of practicing mindfulness. It has been shown that there are many uses for mindfulness practices and even many different ways to practice. These options make it a perfect tool for many psychology models especially positive psychology (Selva, 2017).

Integrating Mindfulness Into Positive Psychology

A frequently asked question about mindfulness is whether it is a state or a trait. While research continues, what we do know is that mindfulness is not completely trait; studies have shown that we can boost and enhance our mindfulness through training, practice and effort (Ackerman, 2019). It would seem then, that mindfulness is a fantastic way to elevate current states of emotions and feelings and a great practice for self-care, thereby making it a great tool for integration into most psychological programs. It turns out mindfulness has been a significant player in the field of psychology possibly dating back to the foundation of the field (Ackerman, 2019). This partnership makes sense too when you consider the outcomes and results of mindfulness: better quality of life, more empathy, more satisfying relationships, greater hope and increased positivity (Vago & Silbersweig, 2012).

Psychologist Christopher Ward also lectures on the concept of living a compassionate and mindful presence and reiterates that it (mindfulness) has a powerful foundation in physiology and neuroscience. Dr. Ward also empathizes why it is critical for clinicians to train themselves in mindfulness and compassion. In his lecture he says, “Every day in our offices we’re asking our clients, our patients to be a little bit vulnerable. And we’re forgetting sometimes that it is part of our job to be more vulnerable, to take a risk as well. Your practice, your ability to stay calm, compassionate and connected that’s going be the most valuable. The most healing thing that you can offer your patients is your very mindful and compassionate presence. So it starts with us” (Ward, 2016).

In a recent study, researchers sought to make a direct link between positive psychology and mindfulness. The study, the Positive Mindfulness Program (PMP) integrated a series of positive psychology variables with mindfulness practices in an effort to improve well being scores measured in these variables. The theoretical foundation for the PMP was the positive mindfulness cycle based on positive intentions and savoring. The controlled trial consisted of a randomized wait-list and 168 participants (128 females, mean age = 40.82) completed tasks including daily videos, meditations and activities. Included in the variables test were well-being measures like self-compassion, self-efficacy, gratitude, meaning and autonomy. The data collected were from both experimental and control groups and were accumulated pre- and post-intervention that included one-month after the end of the trial. The PMP reflected positive results indicating that it (PMP) may be effective in elevating well being and other positive characteristics in adult, non-clinical populations (Ivtzan et al., 2016).

Like positive psychology, mindfulness focuses on personal strengths. It is said that mindfulness can act as a buffer to ward off depressive symptoms associated with discrimination, that it can improve working memory, and can make you more resilient, to name a few (Ackerman, 2019). But there is still much research to be done and it must be mentioned that mindfulness may not be right for everyone. A Psychologist should be aware of patient’s preconceived notions and self-image since that could put them at risk for adverse effects. A couple of examples, but by no means inclusive, would be the potential for problem avoidance, a reduced ability to determine what is real and what is not (Ackerman, 2019). Taking into account the various differences in human nature, personal individual experience, and other heightened and/or low level states, mindlessness, blunted thought or action, etc., it was a logical step therefore that a measurement test be developed. The research explored mindfulness as varying attributes between and within individuals and examined variations for well-being (Warren-Brown & Ryan, 2003).

Measuring Mindfulness & a framework for understanding the neurobiological mechanisms of mindfulness.

Kirk Warren Brown and Richard M. Ryan at the University of Rochester conducted a research study of the benefits of being present. In this study the development and psychometric properties of the dispositional Mindful Attention Awareness Scale (MAAS) are illustrated. The research included correlational, quasi-experimental and laboratory studies that showed that the MAAS measures a “unique quality of consciousness that is related to a variety of well-being constructs, that differentiates mindfulness practitioners from others, and that is associated with enhanced self-awareness”(Warren-Brown & Ryan, 2003). The MAAS primary focus was the awareness of events in a current moment. The presence (and absence) of attention to said present moment rather than the aspects such as gratitude, empathy or various other attributes associated with mindfulness. In an attempt to deepen the validity of the MAAS, they tested whether the scale distinguished persons engaged in the cultivation of mindfulness from others (Warren-Brown & Ryan, 2003).

The Mindful Attention and Awareness Scale were duplicated in a large university sample (n= 711) where the MAAS was again found to be a promising and valid measure of mindfulness (MacKillop & Anderson. 2007).

Mindfulness as a practice has long since proven to be valuable and advantageous within a wide and diverse group of psychological disorders and also for stress reduction. A study at the Functional Neuroimaging Laboratory, Department of Psychiatry, Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston provided an integrative theoretical framework and systems-based neurobiological model that validated the processes by which mindfulness reduces biases related to self-processing and created a perceivable healthy mind. Their framework was made up of self-awareness, -regulation, and -transcendence (S-ART). The S-ART framework uses the basic assumption that our cognitions, perception, and emotions related to our ordinary experiences can, by varying degrees, be biased and/or distorted. And thereby illustrates a technique for becoming conscious (aware) of the conditions that cause (and remove) said distortions and/or biases.

It would seem that we could only benefit from further study, analysis and practice to heighten our understanding of the nature of this important and significant modality. It must be encouraging that we have options and most of us have the advantage of being able to make our own choices. We can choose to be accountable and take action toward a better understanding of our (automatic) thoughts, feelings, transferences, reactions, interactions, self-care, self-regulation and more. This list can be endless. The benefits of practicing mindfulness and mindfulness meditation coupled with the elements and tools of positive psychology will be different for everyone. But most of us would admit that the possibility of taming a wondering mind and/or relief from physical discomfort, to name just a couple of possible benefits, is very intriguing and therefore worth a try.

References

Ackerman, C. (2019). Mindfulness and Positive Psychology: A Look at the Benefits and Links. Retrieved 16 September 2019, from https://positivepsychology.com/mindfulness-positive-psychology-3-great-insights/

Brown, K. W., & Ryan, R. M. (2003). The benefits of being present: Mindfulness and its role in psychological well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 8(4), 822-848. doi: 10.1037/0022-3514.84.4.822.

Carr, Ph.D., D. (2015). 3 Reasons to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others. Retrieved 14 September 2019, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/bouncing-back/201508/3-reasons-stop-comparing-yourself-others

Hocevar, R. (2018). Mindfulness. Salem Press Encyclopedia. Retrieved from http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=ers&AN=109057083&site=eds-live&scope=site

Gjelsvik, B., Tickell, A., Baer, R., O’Neill, C., & Crane, C. (2018). Mindfulness and clinical science. Psychologist, 22–25. Retrieved from http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=pbh&AN=133143475&site=eds-live&scope=site

Ivtzan, I., Young, T., Martman, J. et al. Mindfulness (2016) 7: 1396. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-016-0581-1

Kabat-Zinn, Jon. (2019). Retrieved 15 September 2019, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jon_Kabat-Zinn

MacKillop, J. & Anderson, E.J. J. (2007). Further psychometric validation of the Mindful Attention Awareness Scale (MAAS)

(2007) 29: 289. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10862-007-9045-1

Moore, C. (2019). What Is Mindfulness? Definition + Benefits (Incl. Psychology). Retrieved 15 September 2019, from https://positivepsychology.com/what-is-mindfulness/

Selva, J. (2017). History of mindfulness: From east to west and religion to science. Retrieved 15 September 2019, from https://positivepsychology.com/history-of-mindfulness/

Riopel, L. (2019). Mindfulness and the Brain: What Does Research and Neuroscience Say?. Retrieved 15 September 2019, from https://positivepsychology.com/mindfulness-brain-research-neuroscience/

Smith, T. (2019). Personal Accountability—A Requirement for Life Advancement. Retrieved 14 September 2019, from http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/10/07/personal-accountability—a-requirement-for-life-advancement/

Turu, P. (2016). 25 Ways Audrey Hepburn Taught Us The Meaning Of Kindness. Retrieved 15 September 2019, from https://culturacolectiva.com/movies/25-audrey-hepburn-quotes-to-learn-about-kindness

Vago, D. R., & Silbersweig, D. A. (2012). Self-awareness, self-regulation, and self-transcendence (S-ART): a framework for understanding the neurobiological mechanisms of mindfulness. Frontiers in human neuroscience, 6, 296. doi:10.3389/fnhum.2012.00296

Ward, Christopher (2016).The science of mindfulness and compassionate presence. (2016). Eau Claire, WI: PESI Inc. Retrieved from http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=edsasp&AN=edsasp.ASP3584852.marc&site=eds-live&scope=site

Warren-Brown, K., & Ryan, R. (2003). Retrieved 16 September 2019, from https://selfdeterminationtheory.org/SDT/documents/2003_BrownRyan.pdf

By pcarlson Category: abundance, achieve, adaptation, blog, Featured, intention, love, manifestation, mindfulness, positive psychology, positivity, present, psychology, Recent Posts, relaxation, self motivation, solutions, thoughts become things, trust, Uncategorized, uplifting, values, volunteer, world views, your true potential

Jun 30, 2019

If Image Is Everything

May it be practiced in private, in business, and in life. May it be performed everyday as often as you can. May you become an expert. For, with it, will follow life’s greatest miracles.

Take a look in the mirror. Look into our own eyes and find the beauty there. Keep staring, admiring, looking deep, looking pure, and then when you get enough courage together, SMILE. Smile big. Smile genuinely at the smile smiling back at you. A smile on your face, A chuckle in your throat, A giggle on your lips.The laughter that promises to follow. This is the true you. The real you. The person who loves you and believes in you and thinks you are stunning, handsome, beautiful. You are looking at the person who gets you out of bed in the morning. The person who no matter how many times they fail gets up and try’s again. The smiling person looking back at you is who you really are. So take this smile into the world with you today. Share it with everyone you come in contact with. This is your free gift to the beauty of the planet the sustainability of the should. Your simple yet tremendous contribution to society.

Your very smile can save someone’s life. A sad neighbor soaks it in and it brightens their day. A child who meets defeat requires your smile to encourage them to get back up and try again. The old, who may be lonely, are surprised by your smile triggering happy memories from their own life. A teenager who just broke up with his girlfriend embraces your smile as hope that his heart will heal. A random act of kindness that doesn’t cost anyone anything and yet it will shower you and those around you with the riches of happiness. Your smile is the undeniable beauty of your true self and the world needs it! It starts with you. A smile will brighten up the darkest of days.

Deals are made with a handshake and a smile. Relationships are born from a smile. A true smile will reach your eyes and no one can resist it’s charms. Smiles are symbolic gestures of compassion, honesty and truth.

The best part of a smile is when it turns into a giggle. It’s subtle like the phenomenon of what happens on a crowded quiet elevator. Let it go! When you let go of it, it becomes contagious and when you look around everyone around you has the same expression as you. All you have to do is smile at someone and the face before you becomes somehow brighter and the energy that is transferred between you lifts you both up to a higher place of frequency and elation. It’s in this higher place of excitement that laughter follows. Because after all laughter is a smile that bursts.

By pcarlson Category: adaptation, blog, business, entrepreneur, Entrepreneurism, Featured, habits, happiness, happy, ideologies, inspiration, intention, love, manifestation, Recent Posts, reflections, self motivation, trust, Uncategorized, uplifting, values

Jun 28, 2019

Lessons & The Side Hustle

Thank you Sir Richard Branson for reminding us how powerful we are.

“But not being able to quit your job shouldn’t mean you have to quit your dream – instead it should complement it. Some of the world’s most successful companies began as side projects, with their founders working evenings or weekends to turn their ideas into realities.” (Branson, 2019)

My mind works diligently to create, soothe and inspire. Past choices and a questionable upbringing threaten to beat me down but the power I wield over my thoughts won’t allow self-defeat. Late bloomer is better than not blooming at all. The significant epiphanies come swiftly and quickly over and over, a reminder that shall serve as the fire to set me aflame again and again.

I thought I had lost but in fact (I now realize) my defeat was beyond my control and it was also the greatest success I had known. And if I could do it once I could most certainly do it again.

In 2010 I embarked on an endeavor to bring a product to life based on a simple idea. The fact that I had no retail experience or product development knowledge was never even a consideration. I was a production coordinator making commercials and music videos by day and became a business owner and product developer by night. Production days are 12-14 hours long and the more I worked the more determined I became to get this product off the ground into the market. Rock Your Kicks DIY paint kit (RYK) was more then just a product. It was a community of like-minded individuals who believed in the positive impact and long lasting effects art has on children’s confidence & self worth (Arts, 2019). RYK went on to become a three-time award-winning product and I had meetings being set up for us to be in Macy’s. In this time I also published a novella and a short story.

Little did I know, behind the scenes an estranged person from my past was hard at work eager to sabotage my efforts and my endeavors. First came the email from my publisher that some woman had threatened them if they published my book and then came the service papers for the fraudulent lawsuit against my retail product. While my books were published, the timing for my retail product could not have come at a worse time. It was during our pre-launch so our forward momentum was crippled by negativity and lies. I watched as my hard earned money (yes I know, never use your own money to pursue an endeavor but I was too determined to see it thru and I was unsuccessful at finding investors). We did a soft launch anyway selling on our website (no longer in existence) and on amazon. Things were going well and the kits were selling. Not one kit was returned and we even had repeat customers. Then all of a sudden the sales stopped and we could not figure out why until we found a site that had bashed our product and changed our algorithm that caused irreversible damage. We think we know who is behind it and there is nothing that can be done now.

The past five years have been exceptionally hard and have challenged my self-esteem, self worth and financial wellbeing on so many levels. But I continue to raise my vibrational level and to attract new people and opportunities that are more suited to my current mindset. My mind continues to come to the rescue and I continue to add value to my pursuits and endeavors. RYK may not have become what was intended for it but perhaps it became so much more. I recently launched the “Imagine Children Art Drive” and have been donating the rest of my RYK units to children’s charities. We have about 2500 more units to donate and this has become one of the most uplifting things I have ever done.

If we look, we can always find a way to do good. Yes, defeat feels eminent at times, but the lessons and the side hustle keep me coming back to the table. Dreams should be set free. Action plans should be followed and our tenacity and determination to believe in ourselves, our ideas and our worth should drive us onward and upward.

Today I have some viable projects in development and have been building creative decks to go with them. It is my calling to create jobs, be of service and to uplift others. Follow ups to The Karma Chronicles and The Butterfly Papers are also underway and while I may not know how long this will all take me, I have a plan and I will keep showing up in my life. I will continue to produce with purpose, attracting projects that are mindful and aware. I will live at the crossroad of where creativity meets enterprise and I will never give up.

Are you driven by an idea in your mind? Is it time to hustle?

Some readings for Side Hustle inspiration:

Embrace the Side Hustle

The Happiness Pursuit

The Art of Non Conformity

Side Hustle From Idea to Income in 27 Days

Reference:

Branson, Sir Richard. Embrace the side hustle. (2019). Retrieved from https://www.virgin.com/richard-branson/embrace-side-hustle

Image sourced from: http://victoriapelletier.me/side-hustle-nation/

By pcarlson Category: abundance, achieve, adaptation, awareness, be accountable, blog, choices, entrepreneur, Entrepreneurism, Featured, intention, love, Recent Posts, self motivation, sir richard branson, Uncategorized

Jun 14, 2019

Men and Women In Non Romantic Relationships

Film, Fiction and in Life

From as early on as birth and through most of our lives, we seem to exist in the context of our relationships. We search, long and yearn for connections, intimacy and belonging and most of us have a natural proclivity toward kinship, partnership and love. Earlier experiences can influence, if not define, how we interact in present and/or future relationships (Noller and Feeney, 2014). One of the many great impactful adventures to come out of the formation of interpersonal relationships is that of the “friendship.” And the friendship (platonic relationship) between a man and a woman may very well be considered one of the last great mysteries (Werking, 1997). The existence of platonic friendships has been well represented in pop culture and in fiction but are they accurate reflections of real life? How might real relationships be affected when there is a status change? Can this kind of friendship survive in marriage?

Men and Women Can’t Be Friends. Or Can They?

There is much debate around the topic of platonic cross sex relationships because of the element of sexual attraction. Research has provided that at least one side of the equation experiences attraction to the other, showing that this sexual attraction influence falls mostly on men and in some cases women. This examination also shows evidence of the challenges of such ancillary feelings that can be a hindrance to the (platonic) friendship (Bleske and Buss, 2000) thereby threatening its capability and possibility.

By nature people are hopeful (Bloeser and Stahl, 2017) so they turn to entertainment to bask in the possibility of the never-ending friendship. It is one of the emotions that make movies popular. Everyone of a certain age has most likely seen the movie “When Harry Met Sally” (Reiner, 1988) with Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan that was written by Nora Ephron and directed by Rob Reiner. Aside from one of the most famous lines ever repeated from a movie, “I will have what she is having” (Reiner, 1988) there was also a very popular exchange between Harry and Sally on whether men and women could be friends.

Harry:

You realize of course that we can never be friends.

Sally:

Why not?

Harry:

What I’m saying is… and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form, is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.

Sally:

That’s not true, I have a number of men friends and there’s is no sex involved.

Harry:

No you don’t.

Sally:

Yes I do.

Harry:

No you don’t.

Sally:

Yes I do.

Harry:

You only think you do.

Sally:

You’re saying I’m having sex with these men without my knowledge?

Harry:

No, what I’m saying is they all want to have sex with you.

Sally:

They do not.

Harry:

Do too.

Sally:

They do not.

Harry:

Do too.

Sally:

How do you know?

Harry:

Because no man can be a friend with a woman he finds attractive, he always wants to have sex with her.

Sally:

So you’re saying that a man can be a friend with a woman he finds unattractive.

Harry:

Nuh, you pretty much wanna nail’em too.

Sally:

What if they don’t want to have sex with you?

Harry:

Doesn’t matter, because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.

Sally:

Well I guess we’re not going to be friends then.

Harry:

Guess not.

Sally:

That’s too bad. You are the only person I knew in New York (when harry met sally, 1977).

The film “When Harry Met Sally” (Reiner, 1988) is not the only representation of the topic of whether men and women can be (platonic) friends. Pop-culture is peppered with the possibility of the male/female BFF (best friend forever) dynamic. One of the most popular multi-award winning shows was made famous by the chemistry between Liz (Tina Fey) and Jack (Alec Baldwin) in “30 Rock” (Sitcom, first aired 2006). As the episodes unfold this mentor/mentee relationship quickly grows into a (platonic) friendship. Shows like “Parks and Recreation” (Sitcom, first aired 2009) nailed it with the friendship between Leslie (Amy Poehler) and Ron (Nick Offerman). Their chemistry was the epicenter behind the success of the show. Another well-known power couple of sorts that is worth mentioning is Peggy (Elisabeth Moss) and Don (Jon Hamm) from “Mad Men” (Drama, first aired 2007). Peggy starts out as Don’s assistant but over the years she proves to be his equal and even as competitors it is evident that their (platonic) friendship withstands the challenges. These are just few of the popular shows that defy the concept that men and women cannot be friends by giving us wonderful love-filled friendships that are also strictly platonic (Zlotnick, 2019). And we must not overlook the proof of how obsessed we are with the possibility that these relationships can exist. These shows have been some of the longest running programs in history airing for thirteen, ten and twelve years respectively.

An interesting flip side to this is where are the platonic male/female relationships in classic literature? From what I could gather (Cinderace, 2015, Mullins, 2017) most literary works are based on platonic relationships with same sex characters or too often what may start out as male/female friendships quickly take a turn toward the romantic (Mullins, 2017).Maybe that is because friendships are complicated and mostly tend to be inherently unbalanced while romantic readings take us into a fantasy realm that you can only experience in literature. It does not mean platonic protagonists do not exist in books at all. After all, two of the most famous characters of this century were Harry Potter and Hermione Granger (Rowling, 1997) from the fantasy novel series “Harry Potter” and they managed to stay platonic friends throughout all seven books of the series.

The Foundation of the Relationship and Can a Friendship Reside Here

Let us turn now away from fiction and to life. Can platonic friendships between a man and a woman supersede the audience challenge? As cross-sexual friendships become a more standard dynamic (O’Meara, 1989) they are still not without their challenges. Cross-sex friendships are a relatively new concept. For instance, in as currently as our parent’s generation it would have been rare to see and even today it is not considered exactly common. But they do exist and more so now then ever. Studies have shown that men and women who partake in these friendships view them as relationally significant. These participants report that their cross-sex friendships work because they are less competitive and their communication styles compliment each other (Rawlins, 2009). Today not only has it become more common, but also research purports that young adults tend to have numerous cross-sex friendships (Schoonover & McEwan, 2019). The question then becomes what drives this cross-sex friendship and how can it survive?

Social Exchange Theory, Comparison Levels and Maintenance

Most friendships come with expectations and anticipation. There is a fundamental need to fulfill certain psychological expectations whether consciously or unconsciously by the participants. A supposition that there be a balance of give and take usually exists (Homans, 1961). To maintain this kind of stability takes effort, compromise and the ability to peacefully reach resolution for any conflicts. For instance, if we think of our relationships like we would our business, an economic model develops called social exchange theory. This argues that our behavior is incentivized by an aspiration to maximize gain and minimize depletion (Homans, 1961). If both sides of a relationship are giving of equal value then the relationship should endure.

The expectations and the comparison levels (Thibaut & Kelley, 1959) can be different for each partner and they hold value and weight on the outcome. Thibaut and Kelley’s (1959) theory of comparison levels (CL) suggests that one person in a relationship can have the expectation that it be rewarding (high CL) while the other person may not (low CL). These perceptions of the relationship are what motivate the participants to either stay in it or move on. And while for some, balance and benefits are the keys to longevity, for others chaos and confusion becomes the silent partner in the room. An interesting dichotomy is that in both cases people can stay on the partnership (Thibaut & Kelley, 1959).

Further to Thibaut and Kelley (1959) suggestions, relational consequences are appraised respective to each partner’s expectations. People tend to have a preconceived notion of what they deserve whether consciously or unconsciously motivated and these perceptions can play a crucial part in the capacity of these personal relationships (Thibaut & Kelley, 1959). Relationship maintenance becomes necessary and can be quite unique. The partnership must engage in supportive tactics that are beneficial to each party and according to a series of studies (Dainton, 2000)those behaviors usually fit within five relational behaviors. They are are positivity, assurances, openness, sharing, and social-networks (Dainton, 2000). For most people, these relational behaviors are fundamentally important constructs for relationship sustainability especially when an already platonic relationship moves into marriage.

Marriage in one form or another has been cross-cultural for many centuries. In years past, marital unions were arranged for two families to join wealth and/or increase land holdings. Other common reasons were to expand social relations and/or to boost political connections. While love usually had little if anything to do with these exchanges, it is not to say that love did not exist or even transpire out of these mergers. Over the years, as the world changed, so did courtship. In the 20^thcentury for instance the relationship dynamic has been wrought with many outside circumstances that have lead to an incline in divorce rates and/or not ever marrying at all (Parker-Pope, 2014). But marriages do happen and studies show that the relationships that make their way to the alter come with a higher set of circumstances and assumptions.

The Marital Friendship – Can Platonic Love Survive

Today finds that people also marry for many reasons and while love remains at the top, people also marry for things like fear of being along, security, financial mergers (still) and even because a clock is ticking or a child is on the way. Another motivation, for some, is to marry the best friend. Like the five behaviors (Dainton, 2000) dictate, a lot of time and energy gets invested into sustaining a friendship. When someone becomes a best friend it is usually because two people really get each other, they can rely on one another and they trust each other. A trusting loving friendship is very important for any relationship and can be particularly significant in a marriage that ultimately becomes platonic even if it did not start out that way and studies have shown that most marriages do become sexless marriages as couples grow old together (Schnell, 2019). Not all relationships need sex to be sustainable. Some couples thrive on emotional intimacy and this kind of closeness can strengthen the marital connection.

While there are mixed feelings about whether a sexless marriage can endure, it would seem that if a couple are in accord to what their needs are, then the marriage should survive. Being in a sexless marriage does not necessarily mean a loveless marriage. In an entry for the New York Times, (2019) Tara Parker-Pope explores what can happen when sex leaves a marriage in an interview with associate professor of sociology at Georgia State University, Denise Donnelly. Donnelly’s studies produced mixed results and inspired mixed beliefs on the possibility of a successful sexless partnership. These relationship dynamics proved to be very complex and somewhat complicated in that most couples need to look within themselves to find the answers. The couples individual histories, goals and motivations need to be explored (Parker-Pope, 2019).

Since every situation is unique, for some, a platonic relationship can survive a long lasting marriage and/or partnership since having a partner with the same hobbies and interests can be enough (Parker-Pope, 2014). Also, being intimate in spiritual and/or intellectual ways can be enough to sustain a marriage. Another way intimacy can be fulfilled is simply by kissing and/or holding each other especially at night. Falling to sleep with a partners arm around us, can give a sense of comfort, safety and understanding. When a partnership is congruent in feelings and expectations commitment is established and can usually be maintained.

In Sickness and In Health

Whatever the marriage dynamic, one of the most important aspects is whether or not the alliance is healthy. To sustain a healthy platonic relationship could mean more steps for success but with the right foundation in place is feasible. Studies have shown significant and consequential insights that can be transformed into practical advise for preserving a happy and healthy union (Parker-Pope, 2014). A recent group study conducted by The Experiment Project, provided that 87% of the participants in the group reported love for their partner even thought they were not being intimate (Stef, 2018). There are other ways of bonding with each other to keep the relationship healthy like being considerate and loving. Being able to openly discuss individual needs within the context of the partnership and making a conscious effort to see that those needs are met is branded in a healthy exchange partnership. As long as both parties experience feelings of satisfaction and both are in agreement that sex is not a priority than sustainability can be found (Stef, 2018). Communication, honesty and compromise can be a solid basis for longevity in any relationship or marriage and not just in a platonic relationship or marriage.

References:

Adams, J. S. (1965). Equity in social exchange. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 2, 267–299.

Bleske, A. and Buss, D. (2000). Can men and women be just friends?. [online] Available at:http://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.387.6189&rep=rep1&type=pdf [Accessed 7 May 2019].

Bloeser, C. and Stahl, T. (2017). Hope (Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy/Spring 2017 Edition). [online] Plato.stanford.edu. Available at: https://plato.stanford.edu/archives/spr2017/entries/hope [Accessed 7 May 2019].

Cinderace blogs. (2019). Male-female relationships in fiction. [online] Available at: https://cinderace.wordpress.com/2015/01/03/male-female-relationships-in-fiction/ [Accessed 6 May 2019].

Dainton, M. (2000). Maintenance behaviors, expectations for maintenance, and satisfaction: Linking comparison levels to relational maintenance Strategies. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 17(6), 827–842. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407500176007

Ephron, Nora, 1977, When harry met sally. (1977). [film] Directed by R. Reiner. New York.

Homans, G. C. (1961). Social behavior.New York: Harcourt, Brace & World.

Image sourced from: https://www.hd-wallpapersdownload.com/free-hd-romantic-hd-wallpapers-3D/

Mullins, C. (2017). 7 of the great platonic loves in literature – Electric Literature. [online] Electric Literature. Available at: https://electricliterature.com/7-of-the-great-platonic-loves-in-literature/ [Accessed 7 May 2019].

Noller, P. and Feeney, J. (2014). Close relationships. East Sussex: Psychology Press UK.

O’Meara, J. D. (1989).Cross-sex friendship: Four basic challenges of an ignored relationship. Sex Roles, 21, 525–543. doi:10.1007/BF00289102

Parker-Pope, T. (2014). For better. New York: Plume.

Parker-Pope, T. (2019). When Sex Leaves the Marriage. [online] Well. Available at: https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/06/03/when-sex-leaves-the-marriage/ [Accessed 16 May 2019].

Rawlins, W. K. (2009 ).The compass of friendship: Narratives, identities, and dialogues. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.

Rowling, J. (1997). Harry potter series. London: Bloomsbury.

Schnell, LMFT, S. (2019). The Importance of Friendship in Marriage. [online] World of Psychology. Available at: https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-importance-of-friendship-in-marriage/ [Accessed 16 May 2019].

Schoonover, K., & McEwan, B. (2014). Are you really just friends? Predicting the audience challenge in cross-sex friendships. Personal Relationships, 21(3), 387–403. https://doi.org/10.1111/pere.12040

Stef, D. (2018). Can a relationship Survive on little to no sex. [online] Professor’s House. Available at: https://www.professorshouse.com/can-a-relationship-survive-on-little-to-no-sex/ [Accessed 16 May 2019].

Thibaut, J. W., & Kelley, H. H. (1959). The social psychology of groups.New York: Wiley.

Werking, K. (1997). We’re just good friends. New York: Guilford Press.

Zlotnick, R. (2019). 20 of Pop Culture’s Best Platonic Relationships Between Men and Women. [online] Guff. Available at: https://guff.com/20-of-pop-cultures-best-platonic-relationships-between-men-and-women [Accessed 6 May 2019].

By pcarlson Category: adaptation, blog, Featured, intention, love, manifestation, Recent Posts, self motivation, trust, Uncategorized

Jun 10, 2019

Master of our Emotions

Can We Be Master of Our Emotions?

Emotional responses are like the many roots of a majestic tree. Each limb represents a different sentiment, reaction or feeling. They are the roots of our disposition, our personalities and a gage of our true self-awareness. Our instincts can fail us, our passions can weaken us and our reactions can leave us questioning our own moral compass. Our belief systems may need reframing in order to get ourselves out of the vicious cycle of someone else’s model of the world. The transference’s get triggered from childhood and we don’t even remember what started it all. What if it didn’t have to be like this? That we can change and it doesn’t matter where we come from, what we do or what was done to us. What if we could become master of our emotions?

Self-Awareness

The odds were against me from the beginning. I was born to a mother that didn’t want another child, so I made my first statistic list before my first birthday. That was to be the start of a series of very wretched circumstances that would follow me through most of my life. But sometimes the circumstances you were born into are exactly what are needed to be sure you end up on your right path to self-regulation.

I turned seventeen years old at 8:25am on the day I entered Barnes N Noble during my lunch break and had my first encounter with a self-improvement book. It literally fell at my feet as if someone had pushed it off the shelf from the other side. It was Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich.” I don’t even remember if I read the whole book but I do know it set me on the path to discover a lot more books and a lot more about people and myself. There weren’t any role models for me growing up. My sister and I were strangers and our mother was emotionally unavailable. The more I learned, the more I realized I had the emotional intelligence of a child. This was not ok with me. It was time to get motivated and to get my emotions to work with me instead of against me. Left to my own devices I devoured the words I read and set out to do the books. The authors were my mentors. My life became a series of what I like to call experiments and explorations into the power of the mind and the ability to change.

Emotional Intelligence as a concept is relatively new. It wasn’t until 1995, when psychologist and science journalist Daniel Goleman published his book, “Emotional Intelligence” about the benefits of understanding and managing emotions that it began to weave it’s way out in to the world on a global scale. One of many things the researchers and authors seem to have in common is; the way to Emotional Intelligence starts with our thoughts, patterns and habits. We need to reprogram our minds if we want to be an EQ leader and motivator.

Reframing Our Beliefs & The Importance of Repetition

To change our patterns we must first change our habits. We must rewrite the story we have been telling ourselves (or have been told, even if it’s been our whole lives) and reframe our belief system. We must give our life meaning and discover what matters most to us. To increase our emotional intelligence we must have an open mind. We need to know it will be a commitment and it will require our unequivocal belief, determination and follow through. We spent our whole life with the patterns, so to change them will take a whole lot of repetition.

One of the first that I know of to master this sort of life awakening was Benjamin Franklin in his quest to attain moral perfection. (Franklin 76-77) He conceived of his thirteen virtues of success and he lived with each one for as many days as was needed until he felt he mastered the virtue before moving on to the next one. He created a weekly table in his little book so he could register his progress. (Franklin 79) I believe he has also been deemed “the father of the success recorder.”

Centuries later bestselling author Og Mandino published the book, “The Great Secret in the World” to accompany his wonderful story “The Greatest Salesman in the World”, about a shepherd boy who comes across ten ancient scrolls of success. “The Greatest Secret in the World”,is an actual success recorder where you track your progress not unlike what Mr. Franklin did.

Mastering Emotions

There are many facets to emotional intelligence. Some people aren’t up for the challenge. But think about it, do you really enjoy being moody, reactionary and argumentative? We have all experienced the proverbial emotional roller coaster. We can’t go through life and not experience fluctuations in our emotional levels at one time or another. (Mandino, 80) But we can take responsibility for ourselves and do the work to become master of our emotions. The scrolls are tools to help you get intelligent, emotionally, spiritually and in business and in life. If you commit to doing the scrolls you spend thirty days with each one and you read it three times a day: Once in the morning when you wake up, once with your mid-day meal and then at night before you go to sleep (and at this time you read the words aloud). You should start with the first scroll and do them all. Knowing that when you get to the scroll marked VI, you’re in for quite a treat because this is the scroll that focuses on being master of our emotions.

“And how will I master my emotions so that every day is a happy day, and a productive one? I will learn this secret of the ages: Weak is he who permits his thoughts to controlhis actions; strong is he who forces his actions to control his thoughts…If I feel depressed I will sing. If I feel sad I will laugh… If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals. Today I will be master of my emotions…” (Mandino 83-84)

Once we have established our foundation (our new roots) of emotional stability, we will be better equipped to face the modern stimuli of a tele-conditioned society. The best place to start is always with us. In understanding our own feelings and model of the world and how they affect our behavior, we will be better equipped to deal with other peoples. The more we honor and respect our own values the more we will practice living from a place of our virtues. This will help us manage our emotional capabilities and expectations. Take the time to keep a journal. Compare you’re current day actions with possible patterns from the past. What does that look like? How does it make you feel? Taking an honest account of the memory will help you gain back your power and not respond to triggers whether intentional or unintentional.

There are many small steps you can take now and every day to start practicing emotional intelligence. Take a deep breath before responding. Never speak out in anger. Listen more then you speak. Hold yourself accountable. Be patient. Have empathy. Acquire new habits.

The most important step toward emotional intelligence and mastering our emotions is to replace the habits no longer serving us with their positive counterparts. Spend every day practicing and honing and experimenting with new ways to perceive the world, yourself and everything in it. We are in control of our thoughts, our mind and our lives. Mastering our emotions and gaining emotional intelligence is within our grasps.

It starts with a choice and only we can make it.

References

Covey, Sean. (2018). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective College Students: Succeeding in College… and in Life. Franklin Covey Education, 08/2014. VitalBook file.

Bariso, Justin. (2018) EQ Applied. Bright Wing Books [EBook]

Franklin, Benjamin. (1706-1709). Autobiography and Other Writings. Houghton Mifflin Company. (1958). Boston, MA.

Goleman, Daniel. (1995). Emotional Intelligence. Bantam Books, a Division of Randam House, New York, NY.

Mandino, Og. (1968). The Greatest Salesman in the World. Bantam Books, a Division of Random House. New York, NY.

Mandino, Og. (1978). The Greatest Secret in the World.Bantam Books, a Division of Random House. New York, NY.

By pcarlson Category: adaptation, blog, Featured, intention, love, manifestation, Recent Posts, self motivation, trust, Uncategorized

Jun 2, 2019

One Future Day

Very inspired by a dinner party I attended last night with family, new friends and amazingly motivating conversations…

How should we define the repeated patterns of our yesterday?

If time keeps taking us backwards but the messages they can’t convey.

Will the current road lead us to more chaos and dismay?

If time keeps taking us backwards we’ll keep living the ground hog day.

How will we, as a people, rise above the disorder and disarray?

If time keeps taking us backwards we won’t be able to walk away.

Will the current road stay intent on leading us astray?

If time keeps taking us backwards weeds will replace our spiritual bouquet.

How can we band together in mindfulness so we stop being a cliché?

If time keeps taking us backwards our leaders will keep acting like birds of prey.

Will the current road induce another dire and tragic ballet?

If time keeps taking us backwards they will keep being guilty of affray.

What if we shared a global consciousness as in prayer together everyday?

If time could move us forward it could become an optimistic highway.

Would the new road take us onward so the past could not replay?

If time could move us forward we could be a transcendent soufflé.

What if we encountered a worldwide spiritual awakening today?

If time could move us forward it could rewrite the archival dossier.

Would the new road move us ahead and away from a judgment day?

If time could move us forward we could get this life squared away.

What if we invoke a thoughtfulness that becomes our new resume?

If time could move us forward in a determined and magical way.

Would the new road shift us into a higher frequency of waves?

If time could move us forward we could celebrate with a soiree.

Let go of yesterday and the Angels will convey

There is nothing to dismay and no more ground hog days

Don’t hold too tight to the future and you will avoid disarray

Walk away from that which you can’t control and you won’t be lead astray.

Our blossoming spiritual bouquet is never a cliché

And we are safe from birds of prey as we dance our own ballet

Keeping peace and so no affray, we stick together everyday.

Our highway to the future is hopeful because we have rewritten our own play.

Listen for the mystical soufflé and the messages of today

The dossier of times past should be saved for another day.

No judgments here as we get life squared away

Our new global resume is magical in every way.

The waves of higher frequency and our celebratory soiree mark the beginning of a new life in a new time for global consciousness all the way.

By pcarlson Category: adaptation, blog, Featured, intention, love, manifestation, Recent Posts, self motivation, trust, Uncategorized

1 2 3 4 5 >»

Life With One Eye Open

Why Women Should Have More Power in Business

Developing a Philosophy of Life

C-Stop Keeping Production Working Safely

Creative Genius and Mental Illness & The Fine Line Between Them

Being Accountable: The Benefits of the Integration of Mindfulness into Positive Psychology

If Image Is Everything

Lessons & The Side Hustle

Why Women Should Have More Power in Business

Developing a Philosophy of Life

C-Stop Keeping Production Working Safely

Creative Genius and Mental Illness & The Fine Line Between Them

Being Accountable: The Benefits of the Integration of Mindfulness into Positive Psychology

If Image Is Everything

Lessons & The Side Hustle

Men and Women In Non Romantic Relationships

Master of our Emotions

One Future Day

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