Adaptability and Flexibility for a Rewarding Life Experience
A childhood full of chaos, and the challenges were upon me from the very beginning. Born to a mother who did not want me, my name engraved on multiple statistics lists, much of life was spent lost and confused. Yet in spite of a difficult start, somehow, I knew I was here for a bigger purpose (Corey, Corey, & Muratori, 2018). Turning back or giving up were not options. When there is nothing to lose, perspective follows. My belief that the Archangels were guiding me and speaking to me through my poetry led me down a path that unfolded like a screenplay. Convinced that I was not my past set me on a journey to rewrite my story, my beliefs, my values, and my philosophies of life. And in all this, one thing was constant, my best life was always available to me as long as I flowed like water. When we flow or “be” like water, we are nimble and agile and vigorous and lively. To truly flow like water would make us natural, formless, authentic, adaptable, soft (or) strong, sentient, and unstoppable (Lee, 2020). This kind of flexibility gives us the ability to reinvent ourselves, adapt to most situations, and pivot in different directions. This approach softens the blows, opens us up to being solution oriented and can give us purpose (Skrzypińska, 2020). If we strive to be our best and most authentic self, we figure out what we love and we follow that with all our heart. We must cultivate our desires, goals, aspirations, and relationships, especially our relationship with self. Like no other species on earth, humans have been gifted with the capability of defining our own lives by reflecting on our own existence and to initiate and make our own choices (Corey, Corey, & Muratori, 2018). To always wonder and forever question can help us grow and evolve mentally, physically, emotionally, financially, and to establish deep and meaningful relationships and connections. We should look within for the answers. Proof that we really do hold the power within us to be whomever we want to be, if we listen to our life, body, and internal messages (Beuchner, 2017), my automatic writings over the years became relentless teachings (Lysaker, 2018),
“Letting go isn’t falling and I have settled in nicely with the truth. Our conscious mind adopted habits and patterns that didn’t resonate with our intrinsic values. What a metaphysical mess. The subconscious mind (also known as the unconscious mind) has been waiting patiently and silently to help us change the course of our lives. It only takes a single thought followed by undeniable intention, backed by unequivocal determination, invoked by immediate action, and timed by a specific and deliberate date. This is the difference between a dream and a tangible goal. With the proper modality anything is possible, and dreams do come true. Life is full of gifts that we can pass on to the person next to us. Wisdom comes from experience and being grateful will set us free. Expectation leads to accomplishing the unexpected. Willy Wonka (Wilder, Albertson, Stuart, Dahl, & Warner, 2011) tried to tell us, “If we want to view paradise, we have to simply look around and view it”. We don’t have to subscribe to nature vs. nurture. We have to accept that “thoughts become things” (Mike Dooley, 2010). Age really is just a number and Bob Dylan was right when he sang to us, “I was older than, I’m much younger than that now”. Serendipitous turnabouts everywhere and of late, a smile is my favorite accessory. “The power of our subconscious mind” (Murphy, 2019) is patiently waiting our arrival. We can do this. Self-empowerment was always in my hands and the stairway to heaven has me in its sights. We are never alone, and we don’t need to look outside ourselves for happiness. We can only love someone as much as we love ourselves so I shall love myself the most! If I do what I always did, I will get what I have always gotten. “Everything we ever needed to know we really did learn in kindergarten” (Fulghum, 1988) I am not where I come from and I am not what I do and half the time I may not even be who I think I am. So, I won’t believe half of what I think and know that I am God’s greatest miracle. If I listen carefully, I can hear the encouragement whispering in the wind and if I am watching closely, I will notice every time He (God) winks at me (Rushnell, 2018). We have been given the gift of internal and innate wisdom. We have been granted an all-access pass. We just need to access it.” (Carlson, 2016).
Rereading these words, and so many others, written since youth, reminds me that formulating, developing, and amending my own philosophy of life has been occurring all along. Being a self-proclaimed “W” chaser, has motivated me to know the who, what, why, when, and where of every little thing. My quest to get to know myself and to figure out who I was and who I wanted to be, in spite of where I came from, has been a constant driving force. A successful life reminds me of a successful business plan. It is a breathing, living, ever evolving, always changing document that can keep us on the right track and show us when it is time to make a right turn.
The Pursuit of Identity and Healing the Past
My life took on new meaning based on these main philosophies; thoughts become things, so choose the good ones (Dooley, 2019), the world will give us what we ask of it, so we must be careful what we ask for (Matthew 7:7-12), do unto others as we would have done unto us (Matthew 7:7-12), karma is a boomerang (Caplan, 2018), we are not organisms in the environment (universe), we are enviro-organisms (Corris, 2020), and I am here for a higher purpose. This thinking has not only changed me but continues to provide me with the tools to understand and learn from life experiences. Life philosophies can be considered breathing organisms to which we are connected in motion and experience from different perspectives. Beuchner (2017) suggests total daily life philosophy (TDLP) personifies a state of awareness of the living experience. Our communication with the universe can make us one with the universe and where multiple dimensions of truth can be discovered and gives us expanded visions that can make us solution oriented and more. (We) and our philosophies are not limited or moderated by boundaries like those of time and space. Philosophies of life are relevant in all conditions, places, and times. They are enriched with physical and biological sciences, morality and ethics, sociology, economics, politics, and theology (Beuchner, 2017). The ability to pivot our thinking and/or direction as it becomes necessary is a sign that we are capable of not only exploring but also modifying our priorities, habits, patterns, and beliefs. Listening to and trusting our inner voice will help us define the core values that give our lives meaning (Sagiv, Roccas, Cieciuch, & Schwartz, 2017).
Just like the world will give us what we ask of it (even if subconsciously) so too can our bodies do what we demand of it, and our minds will do what we think with it (Freris, 2013). Our thoughts can create a life worth living as long as our thoughts stay congruent with our goals, values, and beliefs. This can be two-fold because evidence now shows that we are not just contending with the challenges of this life (Caplan, 2018). There tends to be a strong correlation between our current psychological challenges, patterns, and habits and those of our ancestors. Most people when they think of karma think of past lives, as in their own, but past lives can also mean those that came before us. It makes sense that we take on characteristics of parents and peers just as they took on the features and attributes of their parents and peers and so on and so far, back it goes. An important function of acquiring our own identity, beliefs and philosophies would be to rebel against the patterns and habits of those that came before us if they do not serve our higher good. Years of unconscious programming engrains these habits and patterns into our psyche. They can become defense mechanisms and automated responses. But we can override them and take control of our lives. It takes awareness, time, commitment, and repetition to replace habits and patterns that do not serve us with positive counterparts that redefine and uplift us. Most of all, change, growth, and healing can come from forgiveness.
Forgiveness, Higher Powers, and Values
Forgiving others can be hard but it is necessary and forgiving ourselves plays a crucial part in the healing process. Wills (2018), a great healer and the author of many transformational prayers, opened eyes to the importance of forgiveness in order to heal past wounds and traumas. This includes personal and ancestral experiences. Part of the process is to be humble, judge free and to open up through mindfulness and breathing. Once in the proper state of mind, the prayer is spoken 3 times out loud. This form of forgiving has given me a sense of freedom I never knew existed and has opened my life to receiving messages, gifts, happiness, and successes. This little prayer has connected me to the Universe in a way that is indescribable, “God, Please Help Me Forgive All People All People Forgive Me Help Us All Forgive Ourselves Please God, Thank You God, Amen Thank You God, Amen” (Wills, 2018).
Another part of my life philosophy is my connection and communication with my team of Archangels. They speak to me through my poetry and writings and have guided me through my life. They have shown me that I am significant and necessary and that I am here for a bigger purpose. They have helped me accept and understand that the traumatic events experienced throughout childhood and adolescence were steppingstones of knowledge for who I was to become. The events did not define me, it was my attitudes toward those events that drove me to learn and understand and forgive. Being part of and open to these higher powers that are so much more than me in this life have helped me be the best version of myself. My gratitude, compassion, empathy, desire to be of service and to make a difference stem from my connection to the Devine and that we are all equal, connected and made in love. In the eloquent and spiritually connected words of Howard Wills (2018), “We should strive for enlightenment and realization. The simple secret formula for successful living on planet earth: surrender, faith, hope, trust, love, patience, neutral, loving, supportive, compassionate, wanting the best for all people and all things at all times, humility, gratitude, reverence, respect, and love. Within this collection of words lie all the secrets to life on planet earth. Enjoy your discoveries and your continual illumination!”
To live in this kind of light as often as possible, we must engage in periodic examination of our lives. Taking new inventories of what is important can help us stay true to who we are, who we want to be, and where we want to go. Knowing our core values are essential and can define our very existence (Corey, Corey, & Muratori, 2018). It is necessary to also know that a metamorphosis occurs throughout our lifetime. What was valuable to us 10 years ago may not resonate with us today and that is ok. That is part of flowing like water as we navigate through life’s adventures.
My values have definitely changed over my lifetime and while a lot of them may still be on the list, the order of significance tends to shift around. Today some of my core values reflect flowing like water, if we leap the net will appear, having compassion and being of service, feelings of empathy and being sensitive to others, asking questions and being an active listener, loving others and being loved, being patient and understanding, being healthy and fit, being ok with vulnerability, trusting and being trusted, being in harmony, being one with everything, appreciating nature & my surroundings, enjoying intimacy, security, courage, outdoor activities, work and career, being open to all cultures and experiences, being an enviro-organism, being independent, vulnerable, diligent, respectful, being a doer, being in control of my own life, being one with the Universe, accepting others the way they are and embracing our differences, being a detached observer, living and letting live, cooperation, understanding & patience, enjoying solitude and self-reflection, engaging in competition, facing challenges and being solution oriented, being calm, cool & collected. When my mind is open, new messages can be received, not just from within but from watching, listening, and learning from others. This connectedness adds great benefits and value to life experiences and relationships and are the perfect foundations for developing and maintaining a philosophy of life (Corey, Corey, & Muratori, 2018).
Decisions
My life was not always pleasant and sometimes I made bad choices and did rotten things. Hurting people was never my intention. But my lack of knowledge of how to deal with my past kept me running. It never occurred to me that people would want me to stay in their lives. The concept was just so foreign. Older now, my new moral compass guides my journey to heal, forgive and be forgiven. There is a pursuit of dharma and living by a strict moral code (Billimoria, 2021) while continuing to be of service, and advocating for justice and equality for all. I was very fortunate at a young age to read the Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin (Franklin, & Aaron, 2011), so my ethical values are always at the forefront of my objectives and goals. Franklins (2011) “Thirteen Virtues of Success” were Temperance, Silence, Order, Resolution, Frugality, Industry, Sincerity, Justice, Moderation, Cleanliness, Tranquility, Chastity, and Humility. And the way to embody them was through practice and repetition. These are hard to embrace on a daily basis because life gets in the way, moments can take us by surprise and triggers can send us into a tailspin of transference. This leads me to one of the most important lessons of all: when developing and maintaining my philosophies of life, I must be patient with myself, go easy and know that we are all a work in progress. We will falter but strength comes from being accountable, being humble, and being honest. Knowing when to ask for forgiveness and being brave enough to ask for help. Greeting each day and every person and experience with love in our heart, an open mind, and to always flow like water.
References:
Alkhatib, A., & Latyshev, O. (2019). Total Daily Life Philosophy (Tdlp): New Conceptual and Fundamentals [Ebook]. Dialogo-conf.com.
Bilimoria, P. (2021). Bimal K. Matilal’s Philosophy: Language, Realism, Dharma, and Ineffability. RUDN Journal Of Philosophy, 25(2), 250-259. doi: 10.22363/2313-2302-2021-25-2-250-259
Buechner, F. (2017). Listening to Your Life — Frederick Buechner. https://www.frederickbuechner.com/listening-to-your-life
Caplan, M. (2018). Yoga & psyche. Boulder: Sounds True.
Corey, G., Corey, M., & Muratori, M. (2018). I never knew I had a choice: Explorations in personal growth (11th ed.). Boston: Cengage Learning.
Corris A. (2020). Defining the Environment in Organism-Environment Systems. Frontiers in psychology, 11, 1285. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.01285
Dooley, M. (2010). Choose them wisely. Thoughts become things. Hillsboro: Beyond Words.
Franklin, B., & Aaron, D. (2011). The autobiography. New York: Library of America.
Freris L. (2013). Mind and matter. Communicative & integrative biology, 6(6), e26658. https://doi.org/10.4161/cib.26658
Fulghum, R. (1988). Everything I ever really needed to know I learned in kindergarten. Evanston, Ill.: Press of Ward Schori.
Głaz S. (2019). The Relationship of Forgiveness and Values with Meaning in Life of Polish Students. Journal of religion and health, 58(5), 1886–1907. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10943-019-00860-4
Lee, S. (2020). Be water, my friend. New York: Flatiron Books.
Lysaker, J. T. (2018). Philosophy, writing, and the character of thought. In Philosophy, Writing, and the Character of Thought. University of Chicago Press.
Matthew 7 | NIV Bible | YouVersion. (2011). https://www.bible.com/bible/111/MAT.7.NIV
Murphy, J. (2019). The Power of Your Subconscious Mind. La Vergne: True Sign Publishing House.
Nemko, M. (2020). Developing Your Personal Philosophy of Life. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-do-life/202001/developing-your-personal-philosophy-life
Ozerova, Y. (2019). The Psychology of Karma. Stockbridge: Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health.
Rushnell, S. (2006). When God winks at you. Nashville: Nelson Books.
Skrzypińska, K. (2020). Does Spiritual Intelligence (SI) Exist? A Theoretical Investigation of a Tool Useful for Finding the Meaning of Life. Journal Of Religion And Health, 60(1), 500-516. doi: 10.1007/s10943-020-01005-8
Wilder, G., Albertson, J., Stuart, M., Dahl, R., & Warner Home Video (Firm). (2011). Willy Wonka & the chocolate factory. United States: Warner Home Video.