Hunters and Gatherers A Reminder

Apr 16, 2015

Hunters and Gatherers A Reminder

desert-dream-art-glass-bottles-flower-the-lawn-2048x2560In answer to last nights dream and the strongest crossover I’ve ever experienced, I repost with new feelings about it…

Energy changes between us in unspoken lessons of the past. We hunt for the meanings in the things we do that leave us perplexed and questioning. Hopefully we are paying attention. If we’re lucky we gather up the information and figure out the where and why of our patterns and we learn not to repeat them.

If we’re lucky someone comes along that reminds us that we have been there done that and times have changed.  We are not who we used to be and you can’t go back to holding proverbial hands.

When you wake up to your life you will see the signs before you trip over them. You will know when to walk away before it’s too late. You will recognize when something is familiar so you don’t go down that path again.

Your life doesn’t have to be a rabbit hole.  Be honest with yourself.  Know who you are today in this given moment and take pride in how far you have come.

If we spend our lives being a fixer than we are constantly giving away our power and our energy decreases.  It is easier to let the air out of a balloon than to fill it.  You are your biggest asset. Don’t let the idea of something fool you.  Don’t kid yourself by remembering how something was in a different place.

Reality changes from moment to moment and not just geographically.  Things are going to be what they are.  You can’t be on the same part of the path of every person you meet.  There would  be no room to walk.

When you walk alone you learn the most, so some things you just have to let go of. When you get in a place of honoring yourself, you hear what life is teaching you. And sometimes the lesson is in the walking away.

And when you trust yourself to make the right decision you permit the Universe to shower you with the gifts you were meant to experience. The key is to get out of your own way.  Let life unfold the way it is meant to.

Stay positive and energized and let fate awaken you to a life well lived.  Life is full of surprises. There is magic in the air.  Whispers in the wind telling you how great you are.

Blow a kiss at all that came before this and walk straight into the life you are supposed to be living.

Maybe it’s as simple as the moment. Maybe the synchronicity is more than the many coincidences. Maybe the time is now. Maybe it’s unrequited. Maybe it not. Maybe it doesn’t matter. Maybe it’s time to throw caution to the wind.

Don’t hunt for the meaning. Gather your courage. Feel your own love that lay dormant in your soul from times past.

Maybe it’s as simple as that.

 

 

 

photo courtesy of www.listofimages.com

By Category: blog

hourglass

Apr 14, 2015

hourglass

22c65432873effc2c775e4bb2b372724Time in an hour glass. You can try to catch the sand but the gravity pulls it thru your fingers as seamless as liquid. The bottom fills at a slow pace wrapping itself around you like a hug. Eventually it feels soft against your skin. It doesn’t mean sometimes it’s not hard to breath. The quiet reverberates loudly in your ears.  Inevitably, alone will make you shy. The world moves fast and round about the stillness. The glass seems unbreakable. Thoughts keep you occupied. Singing Angels your company. Never scared for it. It just is what is. There’s knowledge here in the nothing. Some answers only found in silence. Letting dreams catch you. Blowing dandelions. Butterfly kisses. Wishes not far behind. I still can’t help but wonder tho, who will turn this thing over if it starts to cover my head?

By Category: adaptation, blog, Featured, intention, love, Recent Posts, self motivation, Uncategorized

Relinquish

Apr 7, 2015

Relinquish

Forest Dream Angels Wallpapers HD 1920x1080The past week found me locked on a stage, weed whacking in the desert amidst the dust and the chaos of explosions, in Downtown LA surrounded by car chases and in a beautiful house in Beverly Hills while people couldn’t help but jump in the pool.

Each day buried under so much prep and surrounded by a hundred people I experienced many crazy moments of not knowing if I was coming or going. Lack of sleep can do that to you.

With the shoot complete and a huge success (!) today I have experienced many really great moments. Checking in with myself I could feel my inner self peaceful and happy.  In the brief silence I found a smile.  A deep rooted, to the core, feeling pretty good, like what I see, kind of smile.

I realized my life has taken such a welcoming turn. I can stand up for myself, walk away when I feel like it and I don’t have to grieve that which is lost. Life will give you what you ask of it. I’m so grateful.

I’m learning so much about myself and how the world moves around me and how other people sometimes get lost in the wind.  How sometimes I get lost in the moment and how we all react instead of taking a breath and letting the moment unfold organically.  Sometimes things are not what they seem.

We all hold a key that promises to open many doors. Happiness.  It had alluded me for too long.  It has taken me a long time to figure out what the happy people know.  I have found my version of happiness in the present moment and the more I stay in the moment the happier I am.

Happy enough that I presume my life of tears humbled me just enough.  My life of fear gave me just enough courage.  My life of humility gave me just enough awareness and my life of tears gave me just enough rainbows.

My happy finds me thankful and honoring the memories, the moments and the tears that got me here. So as the sound of today’s rain comforts me from beyond the windows I remember…

It starts with a single droplet of water. Like that of a summer rain
I must surrender to the waters will. It comes out of nowhere and calls my name.
My body responds voluntarily in surrender. The beckoning call a much needed release
As the water makes its claim on me. My body shakes for inner peace
Memories flood my mind. As my steps I now retrace
The water flowing freely. And I yield to its embrace
An attempt at laughter. And I am at the point of no return
I freely relinquish all control, And leave it to my heart to discern
It can start like an onion. And the effects on the eyes
As I peel away at the layers. I am left with no disguise
It can begin with a lullaby. Sparking memories of the past
A childhood left to no one. And praying the pain would never last
A remembrance of my mother. Her singing fills my mind
A soul lost to happen stance. Who chose to leave this world behind
The grief from mistakes I’ve made. Fall around me like a house of cards
As I have spent most of my years. Behind my self made wall of disregard
The waves are finally crashing over me. As my body relinquishes its control
Giving in to the convulsions of sobs. The only way I can be whole
In humility I shall shed my tears. Embracing all that they bear within
An inner knowledge and wisdom. That only life experience can bring
Tears come in many forms. Maybe too many to comprehend
But I am always thankful for the visit. Like the comfort of a long lost friend
Just like when all of the water from a rain. Brings the gift of the brightest rainbow
I am always grateful to my tears because. I can see my life through their open window
photo courtesy of www.1wallpaperhd.com

By Category: adaptation, blog, Featured, intention, love, manifestation, Recent Posts, self motivation, trust, Uncategorized

Conversation With My Mother

Apr 5, 2015

Conversation With My Mother

blue_heaven_wallpaper_by_1footonthedawn1

I guess it is only fitting that I spent Easter Sunday dinner today discussing religion vs. faith with my friends mother while her husband nodded continuously in agreement at both of us. It was enjoyable but it made me miss my own mother. I wish she was still here. I wonder what our conversations would be like today. It’s making me want to engage in the I syndrome. Some good old fashioned heart felt venting. Maybe she’s listening. I want to pout and be angry that she left too soon. I want to cry because she’s not here to talk to me when I feel this way. I’m misunderstood. I care too much. I’m sensitive. I can be annoying. I tend to be overbearing. I just want to be quiet. I don’t know how to fade into the background where I think I prefer it. I’m a lot. I’m a blurter. I don’t want people to misconstrue what I say or what I do. I don’t want to be judged. I don’t want to care that people just don’t get me. I don’t want to be given a story. I have overwhelming emotions. I don’t always know how to express myself.  I learned recently that sharing is not an option. I don’t like vulnerable. It makes me self conscious. It’s confusing. It annoys me. I am working too much. I am off balance.  I don’t recognize myself. My mind won’t shut up and earplugs won’t help. I know not to believe half of what I think. I know my job is crazy. I know I need a break. I’m over worked and over tired. I can’t catch up. I’m having moments when I am uncomfortable in my own skin. I feel crazy. I need sleep. Getting it out on paper is supposed to help. I wish I could just squeeze every last bit of what I’m feeling out of me like toothpaste. I don’t know why someone would want to take there own life. I don’t like the way that makes me feel. I don’t want to care so much about people. I don’t want people to get the wrong idea. I don’t want to worry or be maternal. I wish I wouldn’t have answered the phone. I wish I could bring my mother back. I hope she’s with the angels. I am grateful the archangels look over me. I hope there is a heaven. I hope for a peaceful world. I like the idea that everyone knows love. I am in dire need of yoga. I’m all over the place. I can’t come down to earth. There’s no reprieve from the constant demands of the job. The hours. The countless days in a row. It’s no wonder I’m not myself. I need a break. I need a week on a secluded beach with surfing and yoga and peaceful meditation. I need to be one with the universe. I need the moon. I need to smile with the stars. I need the sounds of the ocean to wash over me while I rest. I wonder if other people get like this. I wonder how they handle it. I like how easy it is to say what I want to say and not care how it sounds or worry what someone might think it means. I like being alone. It’s okay that I don’t want someone in my life now. I think it’s funny that my friends think it’s weird. It’s okay it scares me to lose myself in someone. I don’t want to feel loss again. I have plenty of time. I’m a hopeless romantic. I’ll stay like this for now. I like being in my place of power. I like when I have strength. I’m not a big fan of how tired I keep finding myself lately. I don’t want to care what people think or even say. I want to let go. I want to be myself again. I look forward to a tranquil mood. I hope it finds me soon. I hope tomorrow is as great a day as today was. I hope I get out of my head and back into the moment. I hope I can sleep.

By Category: adaptation, blog, Featured, intention, love, manifestation, Recent Posts, self motivation, trust, Uncategorized

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