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Beloved

Being the eternal optimist that I am it is no wonder that I might be branded the hopeless romantic.  Maybe I was born to the wrong era.  Maybe I just think old fashion should never go out of style.  Fads are what we make them.  Some things are meant to hold onto, an old locket your great grandmother wore or your fathers favorite ring.  
The most important thing we hold dear are our memories.  But what if the memories haven’t happened yet?  Or they happened in a dream?  Or they happened in a poem because your romantic nature always promises to get the best of you?  Maybe these memories can be called wishes.  They are the ones that haven’t happened yet but maybe they still will… These memories right around the corner are called…
 My Beloved
I spent my youth by the waters edge
Immersed in a prayer that you would find thee
Waiting patiently as the years passed by
I began to wonder if you could hear me
Would you listen to my beckoning call
Or would I wonder aimlessly without you
Perhaps I was just a hopeless romantic
And you were never really supposed to
But if we inherently believe in miracles
To the entire world we must profess
That anything is possible and
So we adhere to its bequests
There is someone for everyone
And this I hold true
From the bottom of my heart
I have waited patiently for you
I thought that I was dreaming
When you walked through the door
The first time our eyes embraced
And I knew I wanted more
Years would pass with more encounters
Yet never a word of happenstance
We would always just walk away
Leaving our connections to chance
How ironic that you should find me now
Within reach of your similar path
Only time can reveal the truth
If there’s such a thing as our other half

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Life With One Eye Open

Life With One Eye Open has a Facebook Fan Page!  Enjoy!



Thank you everyone for your continued support!


Peace, Love & Light,

~Pepper

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Daring Chances

“Behold the turtle.  He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.” 
                                  ~James Bryant Conant



Chances are like choices.  Most of us take them.  A couple of us study them.  A few of us are afraid of them.  But all of us should embrace them implicitly.

I say we make the choice right here and now to embrace taking chances.  If we don’t take chances, we won’t grow.  It is important to see the possibilities.  It is imperative that we facilitate our own risks and jump.  I’ve said it before and I stand behind my words.  If we leap the net will appear.

Taking chances is so important that if we don’t take chances we could miss out on our own greatness.  Think about it.  If Edison didn’t keep taking chances we wouldn’t have light.  If Franklin didn’t take chances he wouldn’t have become America’s most influential Founding Father.  If Einstein stopped testing his own theories he would have never discovered his theory of relativity.

The unknown can be scary.  But the unpredictable nature of a new outcome, discovery or invention can change our lives as we know it.  And possibly the lives of others.  How exciting.

When we appropriate the advancement of our own futures, breakthroughs transpire.  If we dare to believe in the impossible, the possible happens.  If we continue to risk the mediocrity of complacency, progress is inevitable.

We are faced with opportunities to take chances when we least expect them.  It is up to us to choose what to do with these moments.  Chances are ours for the taking.  They are little gifts to show us how great we are and how our own possibilities are endless.

Release your limiting beliefs and take a chance today.  Chance the unknown, unchartered, unexplored realms of possibility and watch the magic unfold before your very eyes.

As my favorite wizard, Mr. Magorium said, “Life is an extravaganza so rise to the occasion”*

* Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium, Mandate Pictures, Walden Media and Film Colony.

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The importance of Practicing

Maybe I have gotten wrong.  Not all of it.  Just the thought that if I stayed away from an intimate relationship I could work through the dramas that I bring to the table.  I could stop my patterns and move forward with a fresh new start.  

Inevitable that the aha! moment should follow.  Eight years later, still single, hiding behind production and my pursuits, and my writing and I stand alone.  Don’t get me wrong.  I am not actually complaining.  I also realized that I enjoy everything I do.   My painting, my walks with Sir Henry, my job, my friends (when I make time to see them), my sushi dinners, and of course my writing.  But at the end of the day what difference does it all make if you don’t have someone to share it with?
Practice.  You can’t get better at something if you don’t practice.  I am now really talented at being alone and not being lonely.  But can I be in a healthy successful relationship?  I honestly don’t know the answer to this.  I haven’t had enough practice.  
Could my lack of practice mean I am going to repeat my patterns?  Am I so set in my ways that there can be no compromise?  Will I run out of things to talk about?  Will I be in transference forever? 
I guess it’s time to get out there and find out.  A smile at a stranger could lead to a coffee.  An introduction by a friend could lead to a lunch.  It’s time.  Time to get out there and chance the meetings of a lifetime. There is someone for everyone.  So my soulmate must be out there somewhere looking for me.  And maybe he’s saying the same things I am saying.  We can practice together.
Relationships are important.  Most of you know because you are in one.  While they can be a lot of work they can also be filled with the most joyous moments of our lives.
More of me being the W Chaser.  The answers are out there.  
Are you practicing?

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Life With One Eye Open: Reflections

Life With One Eye Open: Reflections: “My last entry ended with me saying that I was in a mood. And it’s true. I have been in a mood alright. My moods have been…”


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Travels


An idea not coupled with action will never get any bigger than the brain cell it occupied.  ~Arnold Glasow

Revised check in #4 
NO – Website failure, could be at least 3 weeks away!

YES – May have an idea!  Just came to me while writing the NO above… hmm.. more to come!

Check in #4  –  NO vs. YES experiment
     Productive weekend. 
     Prepped for NY Nike job all day Saturday (and back at it this week).  Saturday night submitted another literary query package for my book. Sunday spent the whole day in edit, Sunday night submitted another literary query package. 
     ~ YES!  Final edit complete for our fund raising teaser for our documentary – will post it soon.
     ~ YES!  Website under way.  Hope to be up and running this week.
     More to come!
     Are you joining me on the journey?  How’s your no vs. yes list looking?  Let me know how you’re doing in your travels.


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An Old Prayer, A New Day

Dear God, Universe, Higher Consciousness,

May you find it in your heart to help us find our true path.  Help the greedy to be humbled and help the poor for they are so many.  Please see us all through any times of hardship and despair.  May everyone have food on their tables, love for their children and roofs over their heads.  Though we may encounter conflict, strife or sorrow please help everyone to believe in themselves, each other and a bigger picture of possibilities.  May we lose our interest in power and instead find the joy in sharing.  May we give love to all whom we meet and extend a helping hand.  Let us know that a smile for a stranger goes a long way and a word of encouragement to a child can change the course of their future. Please let us not look down to those we perceive as below us, for we no not their circumstance. Let us remember that we are all creations of time and space and we can be gone tomorrow.  Please help us to persevere through our most challenging obstacles.  Guide us so that we may shine our light down the darkest of alleyways.  Please assist us on our path so that we may offer opportunities to those who are less fortunate.   Please help corporate America restructure to create more jobs.  May you have faith in us that we may have faith in ourselves.  Please channel your energy through us so that we may be pathfinders for the future, proper guidance for the youth, and patience for the old that may have forgotten who they are.  Please help the leaders of the world.  Help them lead by example by pursuing peace, help them turn the global economy around, and please assist us so that the lands of war may find peace.  Please help us all help each other so that we may get through these arduous times and uplift the energy on a level of global consciousness.  May we all find peace, love, good health and prosperity.  May we wake each morning with love in our hearts, smiles on our faces, encouragement in our words and sincerity in our souls.  

May we disparage fear from our lives and evolve consciously as a whole.  Please help us to experience love, compassion and empathy toward our fellow man, woman and child.  Help us to greet each day with love in our hearts, be the master of our emotions, know we are nature’s greatest miracle, and to live each day as if it were our last. 
With undeniable faith, I ask this for all of us in gratitude…
Amen, Namaste, Thank You,


~Pepper


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Be Free

I know my Venting entry yesterday was a bit self-absorbed.  But I was really frustrated.  I was angry at the world, my past, my present, and me!  I know my New York pace and tenacity leave me breathless.  I get in my own way.  I’m working on it.  I am looking within.  I am trying to figure out why my petals aren’t blossoming.

In the struggle for control comes infallible dissolution.  The constant proverbial brick wall leaves bruises but it’s time to take off the bandages, sit my ass down and let go.  Let go of the need to be in control.  Free myself from the ties that bind me.  Take a deep breath and release the fears of my many lives.

I couldn’t understand why things just weren’t going my way.  And after endless hours of pacing and walking around the Marina I realized I am always left saying the same thing.  I am always somehow just shy of the finish line!  Even with my writing.  I wrote poetry because they were short and easy to finish, while my book lay in wait for years.

I was so moved by my epiphany that what I was experiencing was bigger than me, that I got on the phone and I sent for reinforcements!  Another huge step in the right direction.  Asking for help when I know I can’t do it alone.

Keeping the adventure alive it would seem only fitting that I travel far away for answers.  From the comfort of my own home I set out to befriend some solutions.  Solutions from a past long forgotten but hovering just below my surface.  While the past can fill us with many misconceptions it can also enlighten us to the things we hold on to.  With the help of Jusstine Kenzer (http://www.psychicgirl.com/), a psychic healer, I was guided through a series of exercises.

Now I know a lot of you are reading this thinking what?  A psychic, oh please!

Well sometimes you get to a place in your life where you will try anything to move forward, to let go of whatever limiting beliefs you have placed on yourself.  And actually, being a lover of arcane subjects anyway, when the moment hit me that I knew I needed help, it was the first thing I thought of.  For me, this wasn’t about being told what to expect, it was the “healing part” that attracted me.

There where things that she told me that I had been told before so I wasn’t surprised.  But sometimes it’s not enough to “know” things.  Sometimes the awareness can keep us right where we are if we don’t know how to release the clasps that are keeping us stuck.

No one ever walked me through exercises to change the energy around me.  This was new.  This was exactly what I needed.  And while I don’t know how it works or if it even worked at all, I do know that today I feel much lighter.  I feel freer.  And I am approaching the days to do list with a new found sense of freedom.  I don’t feel so attached to the “how”.  And since I already know the “why” I don’t need to ask.

If there has been a cosmic shift time will tell.  I look forward to the reveal but for now I shall just be.  I shall let my life be what it’s supposed to be.  We can’t control what happens to us but we can set ourselves in the right direction and trust that when we are on our right path the world will give us what we ask of it.

I asked for freedom.

What are you asking for?


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Venting

Repeating patterns and setting myself up for the fall.  It’s a good thing I’m living life these days turned upside down.

I recognize the motif of the silence in the room, a play-pen unattended and you’re sleeping in a tomb.

Thank God for persistence and undeniable faith, or it would be easy to walk away reliving countless falls from grace.

No one can let you down if you don’t allow them to hold you up.  Just ask the guy at the street light rustling his cup.

Every obstacle comes with stepping stones just watch where you walk.  Know misguided intentions and know who to trust.

Getting to the bottom of it all I must find the crux, or I fear I shall find myself in a constant state of flux.

Music plays and cars pass by, a never ending symphony of life lessons and good-byes.

The rain falls willingly and renders me awake, it’s time to regroup for everybody’s sake.

Stop the second guessing and letting others hold you back, be patient and tenacious, focus on the tasks.

A meeting of minds in hopes of letting go, of the past twenty years of reliving all I know.

An undeniable conviction that if I leap the net will appear.

One can only hope.


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Signs

I’m trying to heed my own advise.  It’s not always easy and I’m starting to wonder if I am just prone to negative thoughts.  I guess it would be inevitable having grown up in a world of verbal abuse and neglect that my wounds would run deep.  Questioning myself all the time is harrowing.

But I am thankful that these days I don’t give in.  I am a fighter.  I am stronger than the disparaging voices of my past and although the damage is done, I can be my own woman and lift myself up and away from whatever discriminating mother voice tries to conquer me.

This weekend was very emotional for me.  The past couple of weeks have been very emotional.  Well hell, my whole life has been very emotional!   But I keep getting up brushing myself off and trudging forward.  I have things to accomplish, time to make up for, and people to help.

Helping others helps me.  I’ve always known that I wanted to give back in some way.  I want to help kids that have been faced with my same past.  I want to help them rise above it.  I am more passionate about this mission then I am about anything in my life right now.  I don’t want kids to grow up with my struggles.

There is only so much I can do and I know that.  But one of the things I realized I can do is to take what I know and apply it to what I can do.

Some friends and I are launching a company that will bring art, music and happiness to kids of all ages.  I come from a production background.  It’s what I know.  So I figured out a way to combine my loves.

Over the weekend we shot a teaser for my documentary.  We are going to bring art, music and new shoes to kids in the system.  Staggering numbers of abused kids are entering into foster care.  Kids that have and are experiencing verbal abuse and neglect.  They need to know laughter.  They need our help.

After we wrapped shooting the teaser I was sitting here by myself and the questioning started. The tears found me and the voice of my past had me second guessing myself.  I had thoughts of giving up.  I thought my idea would never work.  blah, blah, blah… The voice of a mother who had no faith in me.

I haven’t indulged in what I call my Sunday night trash TV in a long time.  But three times throughout my day yesterday something kept telling me to watch these two shows.

This is going to sound silly to you perhaps but not to me.  To me I was given huge gifts!  Huge gifts that tell me that I am on my right path.  Something I have come to call God Winks based on the book by Squire Rushnell.  Messages from someone somewhere that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing and that I am getting better and listening to my positive receptors.

The first show had one of the lead characters facing her past of how she was abused as a child.  The second show had one of the couples interviewing at a foster care company.

I went to bed knowing that what I am doing is going to help them and help me and today the world is a better place because of it.

The signs are everywhere.  If we just look for them.

Are you looking out for your signs?


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