misleading

Not All Who Wander Are Lost

Not All Who Wander Are Lost

 
Ironically, my words find me walking the symbolic streets of my journey. Sometimes, not all who wander are lost
 
Peacefulness of fervor. Confidence brings free will. Will the clarity show me an open road of new direction? The firefly leads the way as I try to find the corner of Where Self Respect meets Self Esteem. You see, I’m moving. And this is where my new house will be and my new address will be marked in ink, in stone, & chiseled and bound. Past Avenue has been trying to hold me back and I have been so easily distracted.
 
While I stop to wipe the coffee I have spilled on my skirt the rain decides to come and help me. With a snap and latch of my umbrella I continue up Nothing Can Hold Me Down Boulevard. It seems to be a little colder up here and I am wet from the condensed moisture in the air. The wind chill is brisk and I feel as though I have been walking forever.
 
As I peak out from behind the umbrella I see that somehow I have entered Consternation Alley. Now how did I get in here? Wet dogs are picking through yesterdays garbage and I can hear a distraught cat meowing in the distance. He must be stuck on a fire scape somewhere. It’s dark and I have to slow my pace. Should I double back? Or should I keep moving forward? The fear grips me and I am stuck.
 
I can’t give in to it. I have to get myself out of this dreary alley and out of the rain. I see a break in the buildings up ahead and I make the right turn. As I emerge from the darkness I find myself on Brush Yourself Off Again Bridge and the sun is out and the rain has ceased so I shake off my umbrella and tuck it away in my purse.  The bridge lets me off at a fork in the road. I must choose now. Choose between Been Here Done That Canyon and Time For A Fresh Start Drive. I pass by the canyon with confidence knowing that I choose not to walk those winding roads again.
 
With a spring in my step and looking up to the sky I remember where I am headed and find myself smiling again. Heading West I proceed toward The Power Of Now Expressway.
 
Humming to myself, I look around at the people passing me by. I try to smile at them, to make eye contact, to say Happy New Year. But I can’t get their attention. I stop for a second to take this all in. I consider tapping someone on the shoulder to ask them if they see me. But instead I study the behavior patterns they all hold in common.
 
I take up stride with a couple walking toward the coffee shop. I mimic their movements and their gestures. I carry my shoulders the same way and my head follows suit. I find that we are looking at the ground. To my dismay I stop dead in my tracks. I lift my head and circling in place I realize that all of the people around me are also staring toward the ground, at their phones their so-called smart devices. Lost in manipulation, resisting eye contact and human connection. Missed opportunities and potential friendships. A tele-conditioned society of robots and there is nothing intelligent about this. Artificial misconceptions hypnotizing everyone into false hope and security.  No wonder we are all going around in circles.
 
Our brisk walk takes us past all of the important stops we are supposed to make in our lives. Thoughts Become Things Circle, If You Leap The Net Will Appear Court, Home Is Where The Heart Is Gardens.
 
I keep walking praying that everyone will look up. That I will remember to always look up. As I raise my eyes skyward I see cobblestone up ahead. Where I grew up in New York there was a small street of cobblestone and I loved this little street. Could it be? I have to see this for myself…
 
Excited, I run through You Can Do It Meadow and skip along Memory Lane to the street of my proverbial past. The cobblestone is uneven and unpredictable but you can jump them like hopscotch. Some are cracked, and some are broken. Some are small and grey and others big and beige. They are all dirty with the passage of time. But if you look closely, some of them are perfect. They held their composure even through the worst of times.
 
There is one house on this cobblestone street and it’s as majestic as I remembered it. The white house with it’s red awnings and grand double doors. The hollow windows with ivory curtains and the over grown willows to protect it’s entry. The fragile mailbox and the grand lawn. The swing hanging from the oak that stands tall and ever seeing. I wipe the dust from the plaque to reveal the address. 24812 Answers Lie Within You Manor.  I’m home.  .
 

Digging Deep

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
― Anaïs Nin

     Seeing life through our own eyes is invigorating but it can also be misleading.  Our perceptions of other people are based on what we have going on in our lives at any given moment.  If we are in a bad mood we will project our feelings on others and the annoyance sets in.  If we are in a great mood, we might walk around complimenting everyone.

     Projecting our feelings on others is easy to do.  But we must be careful in our exchanges for fear (and it is likely) that we find ourselves in transference.  Have you ever been in an argument with someone and then all of a sudden stopped to really listen and thought “what in the world are we talking about?  This has nothing to do with what started this conversation.  How off track can we get?!”  This is called being in transference.  Something triggers us.  We are reminded of a past event or different circumstance and we are having that same fight again but with a different person.

     If we are truly honest with ourselves chances are we have said these same words over and over to just about everyone who means anything to us in our lives.  A parent, a sibling, a lover, or a best friend.  My mother, may she rest in peace, used to tell me to never lash out at anyone because you might as well be looking in the mirror.  Something happens in our psyche, something is triggered and it no longer becomes about the person you are talking to.  It becomes all about you.

     This is a scary theory and if you are brave and want to get to the crux of your behavioral patterns, you should try this.  It is time to take stock of the things we say in an argument or misunderstanding with our loved ones.  This is going to take a very open mind.  Open like two double doors onto the botanical gardens kind of open.  

      Most phones now have voice recorder so you just discreetly press record on your phone.  And remember this isn’t about the person you are having the disagreement with.  This is about us.  This is personal and is about our growth and our desires to rise above our patterns.  This is about being honest with ourselves and listening for the recurring themes in our lives.  This digging really deep into the subconscious of our past.  We don’t want to be a broken record.  That means we are not growing.  It means we are still trapped on a vibrational level that threatens to keep us on the hamster wheel.  Argh.  Exhausting.

     One of the things of I am learning in all this is the power of awareness.  It really can set us free.  It sets on a new yellow brick road of possibilities and opens us up to the wonders that come with growth.  Spiritual growth brings epiphanies, coincidences, and many aha! moments.  And those moments mean we are on our right path.  And when we are on our right path there is no room to go in circles anymore.  We must walk ahead.  One foot in front of the other.  Walk away from the past and the habits that threaten to keep us stuck and walk into the future where we are free to start fresh with every word we breathe and every smile we achieve.

Are you ready to break the pattern chain?

     

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