Uncategorized

Not All Who Wander Are Lost

Not All Who Wander Are Lost

 
Ironically, my words find me walking the symbolic streets of my journey. Sometimes, not all who wander are lost
 
Peacefulness of fervor. Confidence brings free will. Will the clarity show me an open road of new direction? The firefly leads the way as I try to find the corner of Where Self Respect meets Self Esteem. You see, I’m moving. And this is where my new house will be and my new address will be marked in ink, in stone, & chiseled and bound. Past Avenue has been trying to hold me back and I have been so easily distracted.
 
While I stop to wipe the coffee I have spilled on my skirt the rain decides to come and help me. With a snap and latch of my umbrella I continue up Nothing Can Hold Me Down Boulevard. It seems to be a little colder up here and I am wet from the condensed moisture in the air. The wind chill is brisk and I feel as though I have been walking forever.
 
As I peak out from behind the umbrella I see that somehow I have entered Consternation Alley. Now how did I get in here? Wet dogs are picking through yesterdays garbage and I can hear a distraught cat meowing in the distance. He must be stuck on a fire scape somewhere. It’s dark and I have to slow my pace. Should I double back? Or should I keep moving forward? The fear grips me and I am stuck.
 
I can’t give in to it. I have to get myself out of this dreary alley and out of the rain. I see a break in the buildings up ahead and I make the right turn. As I emerge from the darkness I find myself on Brush Yourself Off Again Bridge and the sun is out and the rain has ceased so I shake off my umbrella and tuck it away in my purse.  The bridge lets me off at a fork in the road. I must choose now. Choose between Been Here Done That Canyon and Time For A Fresh Start Drive. I pass by the canyon with confidence knowing that I choose not to walk those winding roads again.
 
With a spring in my step and looking up to the sky I remember where I am headed and find myself smiling again. Heading West I proceed toward The Power Of Now Expressway.
 
Humming to myself, I look around at the people passing me by. I try to smile at them, to make eye contact, to say Happy New Year. But I can’t get their attention. I stop for a second to take this all in. I consider tapping someone on the shoulder to ask them if they see me. But instead I study the behavior patterns they all hold in common.
 
I take up stride with a couple walking toward the coffee shop. I mimic their movements and their gestures. I carry my shoulders the same way and my head follows suit. I find that we are looking at the ground. To my dismay I stop dead in my tracks. I lift my head and circling in place I realize that all of the people around me are also staring toward the ground, at their phones their so-called smart devices. Lost in manipulation, resisting eye contact and human connection. Missed opportunities and potential friendships. A tele-conditioned society of robots and there is nothing intelligent about this. Artificial misconceptions hypnotizing everyone into false hope and security.  No wonder we are all going around in circles.
 
Our brisk walk takes us past all of the important stops we are supposed to make in our lives. Thoughts Become Things Circle, If You Leap The Net Will Appear Court, Home Is Where The Heart Is Gardens.
 
I keep walking praying that everyone will look up. That I will remember to always look up. As I raise my eyes skyward I see cobblestone up ahead. Where I grew up in New York there was a small street of cobblestone and I loved this little street. Could it be? I have to see this for myself…
 
Excited, I run through You Can Do It Meadow and skip along Memory Lane to the street of my proverbial past. The cobblestone is uneven and unpredictable but you can jump them like hopscotch. Some are cracked, and some are broken. Some are small and grey and others big and beige. They are all dirty with the passage of time. But if you look closely, some of them are perfect. They held their composure even through the worst of times.
 
There is one house on this cobblestone street and it’s as majestic as I remembered it. The white house with it’s red awnings and grand double doors. The hollow windows with ivory curtains and the over grown willows to protect it’s entry. The fragile mailbox and the grand lawn. The swing hanging from the oak that stands tall and ever seeing. I wipe the dust from the plaque to reveal the address. 24812 Answers Lie Within You Manor.  I’m home.  .
 
Catch It

Catch It

It never ceases to amaze me how powerful life is. Life constantly throws us Universal curve balls and it’s up to us to either hit it out of the park only to have the ball come back to us another way or to simply catch it, study it and learn from it.

I’ve been really tested lately (obviously since I am still talking about it). For a moment there I just kept swinging. I got caught up in someone else’s game and I didn’t realize how many innings I had played. Argh!

I hold steadfast to my position that if we follow the Universal rules, justice will always prevail.

Once I caught the ball and walked off the field I was able to see things for what they really are. I was able to seek the proper assistance to help me see the light and in the end I find myself extremely happy with my growth and the outcome. I am protected from harm and have the right people on my team.

It’s funny how, no matter how big the lesson I am always left elated by the epiphanies. Does this happen to you?

Everything really does happen for a reason, we just have to find a way to keep the faith. We can’t let fear hold us back (and it will). We have to cut all chords, ties and binds and deflect the energy away from us.

We have to speak with conviction and insist for ourselves that we only invite the very best in people, place and things into our lives. 

The cool thing is, every lesson we get through makes us better people, thank God.

Next time a ball is thrown at you, don’t engage! Just catch the ball and go sit in the dugout so you can figure out why you were the recipient. Learn from it and you will come out a winner.

.

Tunnel Vision

Tunnel Vision

photo courtesy of http://www.betterphoto.com

A friend asked me recently where I drew my inspiration from. If there was a teacher or a process or some other means my entries might come from.  At the time, there was no concrete answer.

And after coming through yet another very dark tunnel I realize that the answers are all around us. They are in the advise from a friend, an answered prayer, an epiphany during meditation, a page in a book, a sign in the subway, a billboard on the side of the road.

When we are honest with ourselves and face our fears that’s where the answers are. If we give in to what is hurting us and mourn the losses, we are healing the layers of life that have been covered by so many bandaids. Within the questions we are asked, may lie the answers that we seek. When we are humble enough to admit we can’t do it alone that is when the help comes.

Faith really can move mountains. Determination gives us confidence. Failure means we are that much closer to success. Taking chances breeds self-esteem.
Living with integrity will open us up to more opportunities.

We all have a lot to be thankful for and the answers come when we least expect them.

For me, even though I am on my own and my family are all gone, my friends never cease to show up for me. I wasn’t born with a silver spoon but I am resourceful. Embracing the love around me will comfort me in my darkest hour. And I now know completely, unconditionally, totally and unequivocally, that I am not alone.

And either are you.

.

Snakeskin

By now, the darkness knows me on a first name basis. It comes to visit me like a family member you only see on holidays but with it’s arrival comes the most profound breakthroughs.

When I look back over the years and the many visits, it has been during these times that I have been the most open. The humility born from admission does make us stronger. When the darkness comes I know I will come out on the other side equipped with answers, astutely peaceful and thankfully wiser.

Surrendering to the lesson is not always easy. We are never just handed what we want, we are presented what we need. 

I am reminded that I can’t hide. Our lives want us to listen and hiding behind work or mindless activities can only sustain us for so long. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t fight it. I stayed in the silence and gave myself over with undeniable faith and the vulnerability, while frightening at first, in the end was what saved me.

It’s not the change that’s scary or the growth that can be overwhelming. It’s that I finally recognize that every time the darkness leaves it takes with it another layer of who I thought was.

The darkness helps me say good-bye to another piece of my past that I cannot change. It shows me when I am in transference and that I am safe from harm. It gives me comfort so I can mourn the people that aren’t here anymore.

The darkness gives me a new layer of courage so that I may find my way back to the light.

.

Self-Presveration


The weak can never forgive. 
 Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. 
                                                                                                                             ~Mohandas Gandhi 

Another dip, turn, bend, slow decent on the roller coaster and it seems to be never-ending. The vulnerability forgets what was said yesterday and can’t seem to see the future.  All in one fell-swoop the negativity came and carried me away on it’s magic carpet. The stress of it all has found me physically ill as proof that, that which we don’t deal with emotionally will manifest itself physically.

But once we let go physically, comprehension follows. Through the childlike sobs of my yesterday, I gave in to the cleansing that can only happen when ones gives them self over implicitly.  

The tears started falling as I pulled up to my street and as the car door closed behind me I knew I wasn’t going to be able to hold on.  The depression was too much for me to handle and the sobs that followed would eventually make me laugh but not before they would have me surrender to my truths. Out loud I voiced my fears. I admitted what hurt. I confessed that some things were beyond my control. I let the tears take me. I let go.

I’ve had to walk on eggshells for most of my life.  Tiptoeing around the possibility that one false move or breath would disrupt the quiet that often claimed our household.  A brilliant but sometimes volatile entity at the helm of our clan taught me that I have no tolerance for bullies and yet they are everywhere. And no matter how hard we try, for some, nothing we do will ever be good enough.

With acknowledgment comes a lesson. We really do surround ourselves with that which we know and if we don’t figure out how to rise above the vibrational level of the pattern we will find ourselves stuck on the ride going around in circles.

There’s only so much we can do before we resign ourselves to the admission that a quest on principle alone will lead to disappointment. Some people will go to any lengths to win. Some people don’t know that not everything has to be a fight. I happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Again.

I have fought most of life just to survive and I don’t want to fight anymore. My tears have taught me well. I’m done fighting. It’s not even my fight anyway.

If my self-preservation has taught me anything, it is that everything really does happen for a reason and this too shall pass.

.

Not An Option

Power statements will help us stay on our right path. When faced with adversity or negativity you can actually rise above the circumstance by empowering yourself to do so.

Temptations are plenty, and we need to have the courage to know what uplifts us and what is holding us back. When tempted by that which you know is not good for you, simply tell yourself emphatically, “It’s Not An Option” and walk away.  

People can easily invade our dance space, and we need to know that for the most part it’s not personal.  Some people are so trapped in transference, they are blinded by it and know not what they do. When tempted to engage in this negative behavior, simply tell yourself without any doubt, “It’s Not An Option” and walk away.

Boundaries are often crossed, and we need to adhere to the fact that we shouldn’t be walking around with a chain fence around us anyway. They are tests. It’s a big world out there and we are going to encounter all kinds of people and circumstances that try to get the best of us.  When tempted by an altercation, simply tell yourself authoritatively, “It’s Not An Option” and walk away.

When we stay in our place of power our invisible shields of protection will preserve our free-will. Know in your heart that karma really is a boomer-rang.  When given the opportunity to have empathy choose to do so.  The more you stay in your place of positivity the more gifts you will receive in life.

Know that anyone or anything that comes at us trying to take us from our place of power happens to be lost.  And also know that any negativity that is thrusted toward us, if not received will bounce back ten fold.  Knowing this, try to use your power to bathe the negativity in light and then toss it back, multiplying ten fold.  Know they are blinded by whatever hurts they have experienced. You can see things for what they really are. You can walk away.

When you are in a place of empowerment, spreading love is the only option.

What do you choose?

.
Photo Courtesy of walls2walls.wordpress.com

Reflections

There is a lot to be said for silence.

The quiet brings with it answers. The solitude invokes revelations. The peace opens the door to insight.

Step in and quietly express your greetings and salutations. Whisper your thanks in advance as you settle yourself and let your thoughts take you where they want to go. Un-obstruct your third eye’s view and listen to the guidance your life is trying to teach you.

Whether you call it prayer, meditation or contemplation your reflection will present itself when you find the humility to surrender and the courage to be accountable.

Close your eyes and take a deep nurturing breath. Let the world fade away and your thoughts subside and welcome the silence, for it is through this silence that our true reflections shall be revealed.

What do you see?

.

Please Return To Your Seat

It’s not that I’m not happy. Happiness holds onto to me like the leap of joy. But sometimes the indulgence in the dichotomy reminds me I have depth, even if it’s not always understood.

There happens to be a little turbulence so I unstrap myself to see where the ride takes me. My temperature is running a little high and the rebellion can’t help but show, revealing my precarious nature that I have come to love and know.

My mother has been gone so long I’ve forgotten what she used to call me and thoughts of how things are supposed to be never fail to find me.  Why can’t I just be who I feel like in any given moment. I love where the wind always takes me, the lonesome wolf of indifference.

Sometimes there’s nothing to figure out. You can be a contradiction. It’s not being your own worst dichotomy when you write your own definition.

Being on so many right paths threatens to get the best of me sometimes. It can be hard to differentiate when your always drawing within the lines.

It’s okay when you are at your best alone and your thoughts are undeniable. It doesn’t matter who is watching, when you feel like picking up a crayon and drawing.

Just be you in all your moments and own it.

.

Confidence In a Bottle

Happiness has found me. I have found my way. My Self has taken hold again with courage and vulnerability. The day brings the sunshine and I am set free. The wonderful flight of Johnathan Livingston Seagall and all is quite alright. The beauty that fills me has my willingness restored. Hope in the orchestra and the violin plays a quiet chord. The harp shall be my heart and the drums my future. No more of your confidence in a bottle. Severing the ties from the past. It’s time to see what I want to see. Smiling eyes and meet me on a rail train. Drink my Shirley temple and I will eat the ice. Kiss me. Speak to me and I shall be lost in you forever. Pleasurable enlightenments and I am just a girl embracing life. Looking toward the journey and it’s the yellow brick road. An optimistic traveling no need to say a word. Hazel eyes stand by holding on to the truth.  Many years of mishap and a misguided youth. Time to embrace the splendor brought on by happiness and insight. Time to drink up.







Photo Courtesy of Bamboo Waterfall by ~ExquisiteDistraction on deviantART   exquisitedistraction.deviantart.com

Birds of a Feather

Trust is hard. And everyone handles how they trust others differently. Some of you may feel that trust has to be earned and acquired over time. While some of you trust people right away. Trust is really important. 

Trust breeds loyalty and loyalty is an important character trait that we should all wear proudly.  You never want to give anyone any reason not to trust you. Once someone loses faith in you, you can never get it back.

But the unfortunate truth is, not everyone can be trusted. Some people are out for themselves. Some people have been backed into a corner for whatever reason and they are reacting.  Some people are only thinking of themselves and their own agenda. Some people are jealous of you and they want what you have. Some people just don’t care. 
Never feed into the negativity and trust your intuition. If you feel like someone is trying to betray you chances are they really are. Our intuition is our built in fire alarm and we must heed the warning signs. People for the most part are obvious. Let them do their thing but be cautious and watch closely. 
If you keep your integrity and your loyalty deeply rooted in your DNA then you will be untouchable. You keep doing what you do and giving it a 110% and no one will be able to meddle with you. Trust in the process. Usually when people try to disrespect you it almost always backfires. People are a lot more transparent than they know they are.
If you are a trustworthy and honorable person then you will find yourself surrounded by trustworthy and honorable people and there is never any room for a traitor amongst greatness.  
Remember birds of a feather flock together. So choose wisely. 
Which bird are you? 
.
Skip to toolbar